Houston, I'll Keep You My Dirty Little Secret
by TheyreLooking4MyHeart
Summary: It's Christmas time and no one is getting what they want. Volgarity is used a lot in Chapter 5, detailed sex scene in 6, Possible rape scene in Chapter 8. Suicide attempt in chapter 9. Please read at your discretion.
1. Before the Storm

So, if you haven't read "Houston, I'm So Not Talking to You Anymore" or "Houston, I Think You May Have the Wrong Lip Gloss," I think it would be best to at least read "Houston, I Think You May Have the Wrong Lip Gloss," To have some idea what's going on with James, Kendall and Choir. I left "Houston, I Think You May Have The Wrong Lip Gloss," as a to be continued so I can do this one.

I do not own Big Time Rush or any of the characters. Hope you like "Houston, Two Can Keep A Secret If One of Them Is Dead," R&R PLEASE!

_"I know this isn't what I wanted. I never thought I'd come this far. Just thinking back to where we started and how we lost all that we are."_

- The Jonas Brothers ft. Miley Cyrus "Before the Storm"

It was late December, Christmas only being 2 days away, and we were sitting around the apartment trying to get into the spirit. It's not like we were bummed about Christmas or anything it was just it was hard to feel the mood Christmas usually brings. Here in L.A it was just another summer day but it Minnesota there was the snow that was super awesome because we had snow ball fights, made snowmen, and sledded with one another till we were soaking wet, and we would play hockey for an hour or two till it was too cold. Inside my home, my mom would have the house decorated with lights, the curtains a maroon color, cards from family members were tapped to the bathroom door, Christmas advertisements singing in the background on TV, the smell of my moms home cooked meals, and us for lounging around playing video games when it was way to cold to even step outside. At night, cinnamon candles would be burning, and Christmas music playing the the back ground. There was Christmas character lights placed on the windows all around the house. They ranged from Rudolph, Santa in his sleigh, Frosty, an Angel, and candy canes. They all lit up and at night you could see the snow falling, lightly piling on the window sill. Every year my mom would pull out this small blue table and cover it with this white cotton blanket. Then placed small Christmas figurines of people who were singing carols, visiting Santa, delivering mail, making snow man, snow ball fighting, and ice skating. it really captured a a wholesome town during Christmas. I was always wondering why there was never any black people in it. Every time I asked my mother why she would reply laughing "Why don't you go ask the makers?" Carlos did do that but they always hung up on him every time he called. So, he found another way to fix it. He grabbed a black marker and colored a few of them. Logan was in his mythical creatures stage when Carlos decided to do that, so Logan grabbed white out and attempted to make fangs on some of them. God, I miss home. This time of year was making me really feel the longing for family and old times.

Nothing really said Christmas without the big tree my mother put up every year. It's the same tree we've had since I was five – it's fake. It's gotten smaller since I've grown up but it still brings about the same feeling every year. I love staring at it for a few moments just taking it in. It was green, decorated with pictures of me when I was younger. Some pics framed in Christmas like frames with Logan, Kendall, Carlos and I. There was golden garland wrapped around it, silver tinsel glittering draped over the ends, a big star shined at the top and lastly red, yellow, green, blue, and orange lights wrapped in the same swirl pattern as the garland lit up the tree. Even though all that gets taken down and put somewhere else every year, the smell will always be the same. Grant it it smells like my cellar but that's when I know it's Christmas.

Here at Palmwoods, they tried to make a weak attempt at capturing Christmas and I confess it was pathetic. I sensed the boys felt the same way cause they also did whatever they could to stay away from the outside would till this was over. That and because we were prohibited to go anywhere near the lounge or pool area till December was over. Why? Well, Carlos was so fed up that he threw there small Christmas tree into the pool as he yelled "SANTA WOULD BE SICKENED!" Logan tried to spread dry white rice over the grass for snow until he was forced to clean it up with a fork. Kendall merely complained that it wasn't good enough and it brought down spirits. As for me, I put a little gold ball Christmas ornament on everyone's ear when the checked into the Palmwoods Hotel. Now there was a picture of the four of us around the place that read: Report or beat with pool noodle if seen in Lounge or pool area. Can you blame us though? It was pathetic...PATHETIC!

I sighed to myself as the cup of hot coffee Logan was made for me was placed in front of me on the coffee table. Carlos was watching Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer. Kendall was watching as well, though it looked like he was in as much as a deep of a thought as I was. I could only guess what he was thinking about. It wasn't about Christmas though...

Choir said she'd be back early December but that was before Kendall punched me in the face. I forgave him of course. It was understandable. He felt threatened and even though he went about it all wrong I couldn't help but feel sorry for the guy and forgive him. Choir wasn't so forgiving. She left that night and the only reason why we knew she did was because Stephanie told us the next day. Stephanie asked to speak to Kendall in private. After their talk 10 minute talk he walked back over to us, and as he passed us he said in a low voice that was on the brink of breaking "She's gone," and vanished inside Palmwoods Hotel.

I'm not a big fan of that day either but Christmas was already sucking so there wasn't any need to make it worse. Thinking of her was hard for me. She was a good friend. She helped me when I needed it and it was going smoothly until Kendall assumed the worse...

"Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer, had a very shiny nose. And if you ever saw it you would even say it glows..." Carlos started to sing, wearing a big stupid smile. I smiled and began to sing along with him.

"All of the other reindeer's, used to laugh and call him names..."

Logan joined in and sung the next line "They never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games..."

Kendall had come out of thought and took the next line, "Then one foggy Christmas Eve, Santa came to say,"

Then we all sang together, "Rudolph with your nose so bright, won't you guide my sleigh tonight,"

Yeah it may seemed a bit weird but we enjoyed singing. When we finished Kendall's mother had walked in. "Wow boys, that was really good." She placed down three big brown bags of groceries on the counter and turned when Katie walked in talking.

"Yes, four grown boys singing a children's Christmas carol, cute is the word," Kate said sarcastically. She was carrying a brown bag filled with groceries too.

We laughed at that we all got up to check out what Mrs. Knight bought. It was awesome.

"YES!" I shouted picking up cookie dough that stuck out the bag. "We're definetly making this tonight!"

Kendall pulled out a box of red and green M&M's and almost immediately Carlos snatched them from his hands. "CHRISTMAS M&M PING PONG!" he opened it and stuck a hand full in his mouth.

"Save some for the ping pong" Kendall said. As we all searched the bag that was filled with Christmas food Kendall spoke. "What's this?" he asked. When I looked he had a small Claire's bag in his hand. I knew who it was for and my mouth dropped. I could feel my cheeks reddening. When his mom had looked up to see what he was talking about her mouth had dropped a bit too.

"I thought James would like his girlfriend to join us for Secret Santa Christmas Eve," she said. Kendall had pulled out what was in the bag. It was a necklace box with a gold ribbon around it. I walked over to him and held my hand out. I felt kind of bad because me having a girlfriend is what arouse suspicion for Kendall. He just had the wrong lip gloss, so to speak. It wasn't Choir I wanted. It was another girl I had met before Choir had come back last time. I was having a hard time trying to get this girl to like me and Choir was into this whole Twilight crap and said it was the key to any teenage girls heart. She was right too. The girl – Carrie - loved it and let me take her to see New Moon. I know I should have been honest with him from the beginning. I just didn't want him to take the girl I liked again. I knew it was a stupid reason to keep it from him but I had my insecurities too.

When he gave it to me I quietly thanked him for it. I turned to his mother. "Thanks for buying it for me, again."

"No problem. You're like family to me James – you all are. So, if you need anything from me just ask," she said and hugged me tightly for a brief second. "All right, there's some more things in the car. The one that's tied up is not to be opened. Its the secret Santa presents and if I suspect you've even tried to see through the bag I will tie you to a pole and let you bake in the sun."

Logan faced scrunched up as if he could already feel the pain. "Ay, Ay, Captain," Kendall said and headed out.

"PRESENTS!" Carlos yelled and ran after Kendall. Logan shook his head and walked out.

As I went to make my way out Mrs. Knight said my name. I looked at her and she smiled. "Anything from Choir yet?" she asked.

I shook my head, "I don't think she's going to come back either."

She sighed. "I wish you boys would tell me what happened,"

"You don't wanna know. Trust me."

"Well I got her a gift for secret Santa, just in case."

I smiled halfheartedly and walked out. We raced to see who could get to the car first but was stopped dead in out tracks when we saw what was in the parking lot. An ambulance member was pushing Gustavo Rocque on a gurney and into the ambulanceIt was tough to swallow. My heart felt like it was going to stop. What are we gonna do if he dies?

Kelly was standing there beside him waiting for her turn to get in. We ran to her before she could, yelling her name. When she heard us she ran to us too. "What happened!" I asked terrified when we came to a stop.

"I don't know! He was complaining of chest pains all day and when we were about to get him to the hospital he collapsed on the ground!" she cried. Carlos brought her into his arms to comfort her. "he just stopped breathing," she added crying. I looked to the ambulance and just gaped. Holy crap.

"Are you coming with us!" An ambulance person called over to Kelly. She let go of Carlos.

"I'll call you to tell you what's up," she said and ran back over to the ambulance to get in.

We all stood there in shock. We didn't know what to do. This was crazy. One minute we were having fun, the next it was like we ran into Satan and he said times up. Now here we stand and are possible future could go to hell if Rocque dies.

"...Let's...get...the...bags..." Kendall said in a dazed tone. I nodded agreeing with him but I couldn't move. Neither did the rest of them...

Later that evening I found myself alone in my room. Everyone was off my themselves getting their heads wrapped around this tragedy. We have yet to hear from Kelly. I don't know where anyone went just in case she does but I'd have to go looking for them once she does. I heard the door open to the apartment and checked to see who had come in. It was a tall man dressed in a black tux and wore black sun glasses. He rolled in two huge pink suit cases and a smaller one tucked under right arm, holding it tightly against his side so it wouldn't fall. I raised my two eye brows. It was kind of weird. A random grown man coming into a house dressed formally, with 3 pink suitcases. What was up with that. Someone did cross my mind because of the suit cases but what were the chances of that.

"Can I help you?" I asked suspiciously. He came to a stop by the couch and put the suitcases down.

"Is this the Knight residents?" he asked.

"Yes?"

"Choir will be in after she looks for Kendall Knight," he said and started to walk out.

Today was just doing a number on my heart. It gave a big leap and I blinked a few. "Are you serious?" I asked.

He didn't answer but just walked out. I followed after him but when I got out the door he was already gone. She's back? Of course she would be! Her dad had been hospitalized early this morning. I had to find Kendall to see if he and her had reunited.

I didn't have to go very far because when I came to the lounge area she was standing there staring out into the pool area from the door. I knew it was her because her long golden curls. They may have grown longer but she had a distinctive kind of curl and she was the only one with long hair like that.

"Choir?" I asked walking slowly to her. When I got to her side tears streamed down her face. "Hey, look, don't cry. Your dad-"

I was cut off when she lifted and arm and pointed. When I looked to see what she was pointing to I saw the one thing she definitely didn't need after what's happening to her dad. Kendall was kissing Jo. My mouth felt like it was in this stupid gape all day. It just hung a little bit lower. What the hell was Kendall doing? Choir shook her head.

"Unbelievable," her voice broke. She turned and hurried for the elevator.

"Hey! Choir! Wait!"I said as I ran after her. I grabbed her arm and when I pulled her into me she wrapped her arms around me tightly. I stroked her hair softly as she cried.

"I hate my life," she cried.

"Shh..don't say that. Everything is gonna be okay," I tried to say reassuringly. Though after what has happened to her with her dad and now Kendall, it didn't look like she was ever going to recover from it.

"No it's not!" she sobbed quietly. It killed me inside to see her upset. I wish I could make it all go away. Make her forget somehow. "My father might die and Kendall..." she trailed off not able to say anything and broke into a louder cry.

"Sh, sh, sh, sh," I said as I tightened the embrace. "Don't think about it. Kendall has been through a lot tonight. He probably kissed her cause he's vulnerable," I said trying my best to defend Kendall. She can't be that upset, though. She's been going for 6 months and who knew she was ever going to come back. Kendall was eventually going to move on. She pulled away from me wiping her eyes.

"Hey," I said smiling and cupped her face. "Everything is going to be fine. I swear. By this time tomorrow we'll get this Kendall thing straightened out and your father will have pulled through and you'll be spending Christmas together,"

She smiled a half smile but frowned again. She reached up and hugged her arms around by neck. I hugged her again. My heart was racing. I could smell the lavender in her hair, the warm touch of her skin, the steady beating of her heart against my hands, and her hand that laced in my brown hair. When she pulled a way a little she kissed my check lightly. Her firm, glossed lips, touched my skin tenderly and sent a wave of excitement through my body.

"Thank you," she said in my ear. She pulled back a little bit more but only enough that our ,lips were less than an inch away. I tried to keep focused because I knew I had a girlfriend but I just couldn't object against the closeness. I used to want a moment like this so bad with her. Since I'm not pushing her away and practically asking to be kissed, maybe I still do. I initiated the kiss, moving in a tiny bit. She backed away a bit but brought it back closer. Her eyes were closed but mine remained open. This felt so unreal and I had to keep them open to remind me that it was and that I wasn't dreaming. I finally kissed her. I felt a surge of pain hit my heart. I knew doing this wasn't right because of Carrie. Kendall, my best friend, wouldn't like this either. I was betraying them but maybe this was my chance. Finally showing her that it was me all along. That I was hear all along. That I was the one for her. I don't know. I couldn't let that chance pass by me.


	2. Lovin' Touchin' Squeezin' Another

"_You make me weep and wanna die. Just when you said we'd try, Lovin', Touchin', Squeezin' each other. When I'm alone all by myself you're out with someone else Lovin', Touchin', Squeezin', another"_

_-Journey "Lovin', Touchin', Squeezin'_

James and Choir broke apart when the sound of Jo's laughter came. It sounded like they were only feet from the door. When they looked, sure enough Kendall and Jo walked in. Jo had her arm wrapped around Kendall's. They came to a dead stop when they saw James and Choir. All four wore a guilty look on their faces. Kendall almost instantly tore his arm from Jo.

"Choir..." he breath. He took a few steps closer to her. "When did you get here?"

Choir cleared her throat and after a moment she answered. "Just now actually. I'm staying with you guys till my father gets better. I put my stuff in your apartment and decided to come looking for you. I just got off the elevator and James was standing here waiting to get on," she said smoothly. James looked at her for a second with an astonished look but was quick to fix it. Kendall eyed James for a moment.

James gave him a small smile and pressed the elevator button. "Guess I'll be leaving. Have some cookies to bake," The elevator doors opened and with one last touch on Choir's shoulder he entered.

Choir looked at Jo and then back to Kendall. "Wait for me, James," she said.

"Wait- Choir, let me explain," Kendall said.

Choir looked at him raising an eye brow. "Explain what? You were only hanging with Jo. There's nothing for you to explain. And it's not like we're together so you're free to do whatever- I mean whoever you want," she said and the elevator doors closed.

Kendall heaved a heavy sigh and jabbed a finger against the elevator button. Jo folded her arms against her chest. "So now what?" she asked. Kendall rolled his eyes and hit the elevator button again.

When Kendall finally entered his apartment his mother greeted him. "Hey sweet heart," she said and walked over to him. Kendall, however, was too focused on Choir who was sitting on the couch with Logan talking amongst themselves. Well Choir was talking, Logan was gawking at Kendall. Carlos had also stopped eating his spaghetti for a moment to look at Kendall. James continued to prepare the cookies. "Choir is going to spend Christmas with us. Is that okay?" she asked.

Kendall brought his eyes to her and shrugged his shoulders. "Why wouldn't it be?" he asked causally. The mom eyed him suspiciously for a second then smiled.

"All right," she said lastly and gave him a small pat on the back before going back to helping Katie on her lap top. Kendall walked over to Logan and Choir. Logan looked up but Choir kept her head down knowing already that he was there.

"Can we talk?" he asked. She was silent for a moment but looked up at him with a smile.

"Sure," she replied and got to her feet. Kendall grabbed her by the hand and directed towards his bedroom. Choir and James eyes met for a second but she looked away feeling bad.

"Will be right back out, mom. We need to talk for a second," Kendall said. The mom pointed a finger at him.

"I'll give you 10 minutes," she said. Kendall nodded in agreement and vanished behind the door with Choir.

It was quiet for a minute. Kendall was trying think of something to say as his mouth opened to say something but closed it and shook his head.

"Just say it already," Choir said impatiently. Kendall's expression turned incredulous.

He sighed. "Don't hate me,"

"I don't hate you," she said honestly.

Kendall smiled and walked over to her grabbing her hands in his. "Then we can work this out," he said quickly. Choir pulled her hands from him.

"No we can't. I don't want to work anything out. You'll always have a place in my heart but I'm not going to do this for the third time-"

"This time it's going to work."

"How? Huh?"

"When you left I had some time to think. I know I went about this all wrong- I should have asked you-"

"You should have trusted me!" Choir snapped.

"I know, I know but can you blame me? After the mess that happened with James, you and I went through, I couldn't help but feel threatened and insecure," Kendall said trying to reason with her.

She grabbed Kendall's face and pulled it close to hers. They had their eyes closed. "I choose you Kendall," she said.

"I know..."

"And like you said, you could see it in my eyes that I loved you. That right there should have told you that I was yours forever and always,"

"I'm sorry I screwed things up," he breath.

"Me too..." She let go of him and took a step back. Water built up in her eyes, and even Kendall's eyes glossed over. "

"What are we suppose to do now?" he asked.

She smiled softly and turned to look at the door. When she turned back to Kendall she shrugged her shoulders. "Lets get back out there before your mom gets mad," she said.

"I meant about us?" Kendall chuckled softly.

Choir thought for a moment. "We can be friends if that's okay with you?"

"Guess that's better than nothing," Kendall said.

Choir took in a deep breath as she ran a hand through her hair.

"You seem unsure," Kendall said.

"It's not that. I just think it's going to feel weird."

"Tell me about it."

"But it's for the best."

"If you say so," Kendall paused biting his lip. "I hate this," he said.

"I know but hey I'll only be here for a few days and soon you'll never have to see me again," She said trying to make it sound like a good thing. Choir went to go and turn but Kendall grabbed her hand.

"Don't do this Kendall," She said. But he ignored her and pulled her into a hug.

He held her close burying his face into her shoulder."No matter what happens I think I'm always going to love you," he said.

When they came out from the bedroom Kendall's mom was putting Choir's suitcases against Katie's bedroom door. "Choir, you'll be bunking with Katie," she said.

"Great that's fine with me," She said.

"Yay! A roommate," Katie exclaimed sarcastically. Choir raised her eyebrows.

"Be nice," Kendall said.

"Yeah, yeah..." Katie said and picked her lap top up and headed into her room. Choir looked at Kendall and he smiled.

"Once she gets to know you she'll be nicer," he said. Choir laughed.

"Well, I'm going to go get my things sorted," Choir said and rolled her suit cases into Katie's room. Katie then closed the door.

"Should we be worried?" James asked. Everyone laughed. Kendall made his way over to James who had turned to check the cookies in the oven. When he turned Kendall was taking a seat on one of the seats.

"So did you and Choir fix things?" he asked.

"She only wants to be friends. She said I'll always have a place in her heart but she doesn't want to be together," Kendall said.

James stared at him for a moment then spoke. "Are you okay?" he asked concerned.

"Not really, but what can I do right?"

"Well if you need to talk, I'm here for you," James offered sympathetically.

"Thanks man," Kendall said appreciatively.

Meanwhile Katie was in her room watching Choir as she sat on the top bunk. Choir was looking at her too because Katie had spent the last five minutes glaring at her.

"Are you going to kill me?" Choir asked.

"Blondes..." Katie said rolling her eyes. Choir furrowed hers.

"You don't like me very much do you?" Choir asked.

"You turned my brother into a hopeless idiot. So I can't say I'm much of a fan," She said in a cocky voice. Choir nodded. "But I can say he was much happier with you," Katie said. "So what's up with you two anyway? Decided to relight the candle?" she asked.

"Um..no. We called it quits. Well I called it quits. Kendall reluctantly agreed," Choir admitted.

"Sorry to hear that," Katie said honestly.

Choir changed the subject as she noticed Edward Cullen and Jacob Black on her wall next to the door. "It's like a crime to have Edward and Jacob together on your wall,"Choir laughed. Katie looked at her posters and laughed. "So what team are you on?" she asked.

"Team Shut the Fuck Up," Katie replied. Choirs eyes went big but bursted out laughing. Katie laughed along.

A knock came at the door and the mom popped her head in. "Katie, Maggie called and she wants you to sleep over,"

"Awesome!" Katie said getting to her feet. She turned and looked up at Choir. "It was fun talking and stuff but I gotta go,"

"Have fun!" Choir said.

It was around 12 am when Choir awoke. She heard the door to the bedroom and her heart began to race. "Choir you awake?"

Even though it was pitch dark, she didn't have to see the face to recognize who's voice it was and it made her heart stop then start racing again. She sat up. "James? What are you doing in here?" she whispered. James closed the door and Choir turned on the touch light on the wall next to her head. He walked over to the bunk bed and started up it. "What are you doing?" she asked. She quickly tried to fix her hair. When he was fully on the bed he crawled over to her and went in for a kiss. She moved her head back. "James!" she said.

"What?"

She scoffed in disbelief "What? Are you out your Big Time Mind?" She asked. James pressed a hand against the touch light and smiled. She could see his white teeth flashing in the moon light. She went tense as he ran a hand up her leg.

"Maybe..." He trailed off and pressed his eager lips against her.

Choir pushed him away. "James. No. You have a girlfriend and Kendall-"

"It's over isn't it?"

"That maybe so, but I still love him and you, hun, have a girlfriend. Remember?" James sat up feeling guilty.

"I'm sorry it's just you kissed me-:

"You kissed me," Choir corrected pointing her index finger at him. He grabbed it and held her hand in his. She quickly yanked it away but James smile widened.

"We kissed each other," He finally corrected.

"It was a mistake,"

When she said that James smile faded. "Why are you denying what's in front of your face?"

Choir's left eyebrow rose. "And that would be..." she trailed off waiting for him to answer.

"That you and I are perfect together?" When James said that Choir scoffed a laugh and jumped down from the bed.

"Out." She ordered gesturing towards the bedroom door. James swung his legs off the top bunk.

"Not until we talk about what's going on between us." James said.

"Nothing. Happy? Now leave." She ordered again.

"If nothing then why do you keep kissing me when you claim you're sooooo in love with Kendall?"

"First time, I was confused by who I actually liked. I was dazed by you and fascinated with Kendall. I choose Kendall cause I felt a stronger connection. Second time, I was hurt by seeing Kendall and Jo swapping spit by the pool. And I'm sorry I used you to try and feel better. But I didn't feel better. I felt worse. The problem that could have been created. Kendall would hate you and he would feel even more hurt than what he already is because of me. I can't put him through anymore pain," She grabbed him by the hand and pulled him down from the bunk bed. "Swear to me you won't tell Kendall about our kiss. It'll break his heart. If you love him too you will-"

James jumped down from the bed. "All right. ALRIGHT!" James voice got louder.

"Shhh!" Choir hissed at him looking at over her shoulder at the door.

"I promise," he whispered. Choir sighed. She turned on her heel and walked over to the door. When she opened it, Kendall was there. His arm was stretched out to open the door. There eyes were locked on one another.

"Kendall," Choir voice squeaked.

Kendall looked at James then back to her. "I heard a bang. I just came to see if you were okay...if you...fallen...bed..." his voice was vague as he was trying to think as he talked.

"It's not what you think," Choir said trying to assure him. She turned to James. "James and I just had a talk and now we're done and he's leaving." She said sternly. James pressed his lips together and nodded.

"What she said." He said and began to walk towards the door.

"James," Choir called softy. When he turned around she wore a sympathetic look. "I am sorry," she said honestly.

"Yeah me too." He said and returned to his bedroom. When they heard the door close Choir spoke.

"Thanks for checking on me,"

"No problem," He said. When he turned to leave Choir followed after him but stopped at the door.

"Hey," She said.

Kendall turned around. "Yeah?" he asked yawning.

"Can you come to the hospital with me tomorrow? To visit my dad. I don't want to go alone." She said. Kendall faintly smiled and nodded.

"Sure," He replied.

Choir smiled. "Thanks."

"I'm just happy you can come to me for support."

She smiled. Kendall turned around and went back into his room. Choir closed the door and pressed her back against it then sighed profoundly.


	3. My First Kiss Went a Little Like This

"_She won't ever get enough, once she gets a little touch. If I had it my way, you know that I'd make her say..." _

_-3HO!3 "My First Kiss"_

(_**I redid the ending to the last chapter...**_)

The following day, James was on the phone talking excitedly to his mother who was on the other end. Carlos was coming out his bed room tightening his leather black belt around his waste. Logan was eating a bowl of Luck Charms at the kitchen table. Kendall was out with Choir visting her father. A half hour after they left they had arrived at the hospital and called them to let them know that Rocque was going to be fine. He was diagnosed with GERD's disease. The reason why it got so bad was because he was putting off going to the hospital. Unfortunately, they want to keep him for observation for a few days.

Carlos and Logan exchanged a look as James began to jump up and down. Logan made a circular motion with his finger text to the temple of his head. Carlos sniggered/ He grabbed Logan's bowl of cereal and began to eat it. "Dude!" Logan complained and snatched his bowl back. "Get your own," he laughed. When the sound of the phone clicking off caught the boys attention James was dancing.

"Why are you so happy?" Carlos asked. James ran over to them and slammed his hands down on the table.

"We're going to Minnesota for Christmas!" he shouted.

"WHAT?" They both asked with excitement.

"That's right! Me, you two, Kendall, Katie, Choir and Mrs. Knight are staying at my parents house for Christmas!"

Logan and Carlos jumped from their seats and began to dance. James joined in. The door opened and Kendall, Choir, Katie, and Mrs. Knight walked in. "Mrs. Knight!" James immediately ran over to her. He grabbed her shoulders and began to jump up and down.

"Whoa what is this all about?" She asked.

"Did you score a modeling job with Cuda?" Kendall asked. James abruptly stopped and looked at Kendall.

"I would be passed out on the ground if that happened," James said.

"Then what is it?" Mrs. Knight asked.

"I just got off the phone with my mom and she said that it would be okay if we came down to Minnesotta and spent Christmas there. She said that us boys can split my room and the two guest rooms and you 3 can share the guest house," James said in one quick breath.

"Oh wow that's great,"

"SCORE!" Kendall yelled.

"I'm going to pack now! OMG! This is so great. I can visit all my old friends. And play in the snow. SNOW!" Katie shouted excited as she ran to her bedroom.

"Wait. 3?" Choir asked. James looked at her.

"Well yeah. You gotta come. You'll love Minnesota. Plus you get to hang with us for the holidays," James said.

"I'm sorry, James. I appreciate you thinking of me but I can't," hurt lingered in her words and she walked away. She disappeared into Katie's room, closing the door behind her. Kendall and James exhanged a look.

Choir grabbed her suitcase from under the bunk bed. When she was unzipping it the door opened from behind her.

"Can you give us a minute?" Came Kendall's voice. Asking Katie nicely. Katie nodded and left. Kendall closed the door.

"What's wrong?" Kendall asked, concerned.

"I can't go to Minnesota with my father in the hospital," she answered. She turned to the dresser to pull the draw out but Kendall placed a hand against it.

"Is that really the reason?" he asked. When Choir looked up at him she wore a dirty look.

"Don't be so conceited, Kendall," She retorted.

He gave a small chuckle and ran a hand through his blond locks. "I was kinda talking about being away from L.A. But now that you mention it..." he trailed off as a smile broke out on her face. It quickly disappeared at it came and she walked over to the bed. When she sat down Kendall sat beside her.

"I haven't ever been away from L.A. Never had one of those real Christmas family get togethers. It'd feel weird , that's for sure. But I was being serious about my father, Kendall," She looked up at him. "It's Christmas, I have to beside him. Now more than ever,"

"Don't you think your father would want you to have a happy Christmas? Not spending it in cold , lonely, death like rooms and halls?"

Choir shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know. I would feel bad if I go," She admitted.

Kendall smiled and put a arm around her. "Well then I'm just going to have to think of ways to keep you busy so you don't think of it," he said. "Besides, you have to come anyway."

"Why's that?" Choir asked suspiciously.

"My mom bought you a few gifts, one of them is from secret Santa," He answered.

"Secret Santa?" Choir repeated trying to hold back a smile.

"Yep," he said. It was quiet for a moment and then Choir removed his arm from around her.

"If I'm gonna go, I should call my dad," she said and walked out. Kendall blew out a long strong breath.

Everyone was packed an hour later and standing getting into to the Van. Kendall's mom stuck the last suitcase into the back. "All right, everyone have their plane ticket that Kelly dropped off?" She asked.

They all answered with a yes and she got into the drivers seat. Choir sat in the back with James and Kendall on each side. Carlos and Logan were in the middle row. Katie sat beside her mother in the front. Katie plugged her iPod in and after playing with it for a few seconds Glee's version of Anyway You Want It/Lovin' Touchin' Squeezin' came on.

"It's going to be a long ride," Carlos said. When they arrived at the airport they made the flight on time and went through security before getting situated in their seats on the plane.

"Man, I can't wait till we get home!" James said.

Carlos looked over his seat at James. "Oh yeah! We get there it's Kendall and me vs. Logan James. Hockey!" Carlos cried out with joy. James and Carlos high-fived one another before taking their seats. Kendall shook his head as he took his seat across the isle from the boys. Choir was seated beside him. He looked over at her and leaned into her.

"If you want to switch seats or something-"

"Why would you think that?" she asked. Kendall shook his head slowly.

"No reason. I just don't want you to feel uncomfortable," he said honestly.

"It's fine. Besides, I need someone to lay my head on when I fall asleep. And you're the only person I can without it feeling awkward or giving the wrong ideas," she said in a simple tone.

"What makes you think that you're going to fall asleep? The plane rides not going to be that long." Kendall laughed.

"Shush," Choir said.

Kendall laughed. "You're just looking for an excuse to lay your head on my shoulder,"

"Am not," She said shyly. Her cheeks went a bright pink.

Kendall chuckled "Well lay away, I guess. But when you do that I get to put my arm around you," he said. Choir giggled.

"No you can't."

"You get to sleep on me but I can't put my arm around you?"

"You already put your arm around me now it's mine turn to do something," she said.

"I don't know Choir. If I didn't know better I think you're flirting with me," Kendall said.

"You wish..." She trailed off looking down at her legs.

Kendall smiled proud of himself and threw his head back against the seat.

"We should be there in about 4 hours," Mrs. Knight said as she took her seat in front of Kendall and Choir. As did Katie. _**(Um...I tried to Google the time it would take to get from L.A to Minnesota and one time I got 5 days and then when I searched again I got 3-4 hours. So I went with the 3-4 hours because it made more sense and they would make Christmas on time. If I'm wrong tell me in the review.)**_

__When the pilot announced take off the four boys threw there hands in the air and whooted.

"Minnesota here we come!" James yelled. "It's going to be so good to see my parents again,"

"Mine too," Logan said.

"Yeah, my mami and papi are going to stop by for a few hours,"

"My parents are already there," Logan said. A hint of annoyance in his voice. Everyone grinned. Typical of his mom and dad. They were crazy about their son Logan. He was their pride and joy. But to Logan they were suffocating. He loved them though and he was surely feeling homesick and wouldn't mind being reminded of their craziness.

Everyone remained awake and talked amongst themselves. They were dressed in sweaters and jackets because of the cold air. Snow was lightly falling. They recalled past memories in Minnesota and told all that they could to Choir. When they landed a limo was already waiting for them and they headed to James house. The excitement was building as they passed the park where they played ice hockey, the pond where the hung out during the summer and played football, the old school where they used to go to, and the bakery where they got the famous hot chocolate.

When they stopped in front of the house the Carlos, James, Logan and Katie rushed out the limo. When Choir didn't move Mrs. Knight smiled. "Don't be nervous dear, everyone is going to love you." She said. Choir stayed silent.

"We'll be right there okay mom?" Kendall asked. The mom nodded and got out the limo.

"Hey," Kendall said pulling her face to the side so that they were face to face. "It's going to be fine. There's nothing for you to worry about. And remember your dad would want you to be happy,"

Choir exhaled slowly.. "I know, I know..." She took in a deep breath.

"Once we get settled I'm going to get you started on being worry free," Kendall said.

"What do you have in mind?" She asked.

"You know how to ice skate,"

"Skate. yes. Ice skate. No."

Kendall chuckled. "Don't worry they're practically the same thing. I'll help you get started, okay?"

"Great," She said trying to convince him but she sounded unsure.

"C'mon," Kendall said grabbing her hand and pulling her out of the limo. Choir zipped up her cashmere

When they walked up the steps to the voice a female voice from behind them was calling Kendall's name. They turned around and Kendall's squinting turned into wide happy eyes.

"Tina!" he called back. A brown haired girl, with light skin, wearing an orange sweater and blue denim jeans was jogging from across the street over to them.

"Who's that?" Choir asked looking up at Kendall.

"She used to play hockey with us sometimes," Kendall said keeping his eyes on Tina. I

"More importantly, what on gods green earth is she wearing," Choir said in an a disgusted tone.

"Be nice," Kendall said and walked down the steps.

"Oh my GOD! It's really you!" she squeaked and threw her arms around his neck. "I missed you so much!" She cried.

"Miss ya too," Kendall said. Choir rolled her eyes and turned to go inside but Kendall stopped her.

"Where you going?" he asked.

"Inside," she said blatantly.

"Now you're in a rush to go inside?" he laughed. "Don't be ridiculous. You have to meet Tina."

"I'd rather bash my head against the ice in the ice rink," Choir muttered.

"Tina this is Choir. She's from L.A. Shes gonna spend Christmas with us,"

"Hi," Tina said holding out a hand.

Choir just made a face as she stared at Tina's hand. "You shake it," Kendall said.

Choir, however, stayed silent and her hand by her side. "Don't mind her. We're like Aliens to her," Kendall joked. Tina laughed and Choir only mocked it.

"Yes, it's all funny," She sarcastically said.

"What's wrong with you?" Kendall asked.

"I guess it's my blondness kicking in, since that makes me a natural bitch, right? Like me being an Alien..."

"Choir, relax," Kendall said trying to reason with her.

"I'm going to go unpack," She said.

"Bye," Tina sang.

"Bite me," Choir said as she entered the house and closed the door behind her. Kendall turned to Tina.

"Please don't do that,"

"It was funny," Tina said nodding her head.

"Just a little," he agreed.

"So what are you doing later?" Tina asked.

"Uhh..." Kendall trailed off looking back at the door.

"Oh Choir's your girlfriend? No wonder why she doesn't like me. Must feel threatened," she said hitting Kendall playfully on the shoulder.

"No, Choir isn't my girlfriend. She was but we broke up."

"Oh...Why?" Tina wondered.

"Long story. Basically it's my fault. I was the one who was feeling threatened and I screwed everything up," Kendall said. You could hear the shame and pain in his words.

"You must have really liked her or something," Tina said.

"Or something..." Kendall said.

"So is there any chance of you two getting back together?" Tina asked.

"Whoa where is there feisty side of Tina coming from?" Kendall laughed. Tina smiled brightly.

"It's been a while since you've been gone. We do grow up and start feeling new and different things," Tina said. Kendall's mouth dropped slightly but he closed it.

"Oh really," he said jokingly. But Tina bit her lip.

"Yes really. I could show you some time,"

Kendall laughed nervously then punched Tina playfully on the arm. "Tina, Tina, Tina, what am I going to do with you..."

"I could name a few things," she said seductively.

"Riiiiiiight. Well I have to get inside. How about we catch up later?"

"Awesome how about at the park tonight? They're going to be lightening it up around 8-"

"Oh right! I forgot about that. Sounds awesome. I'll just let Logan, James, Carlos and Choir know," Kendall said as he walked up the stairs.

"Oh um-"

"Bye!" Kendall said as he got inside and slammed the door shut. "Wooo..." he said. "That was a little weird..." he said to himself.

"What was?" James asked. Kendall's eyes widened when he saw everyone looking at him from the living room. Logan was stuffed in between his parents. Carlos was sitting on the arm of the chair while is parents sat on the love seat. James was sitting next to his father. James mom was in the middle of the room talking to everyone. Choir sat next to Katie on the long couch. Choir was the only one not paying attention to him when he entered. She was concentrating on her iphone. Kendall rubbed his hands on his jeans.

"Um...nothing," he said and made his way to everyone. James mom opened her arms for a big hug.

"You've gotten so big!" she said squeezing him tightly. Kendall felt uncomfortable as it felt like James mom was pressing her big chest against him. She was a cougar. No doubt about that. She had 2 breast enhancements, long silky brown hair, deep blue eyes, very thin, very attractive. Even though they brought it up to James because it made him uncomfortable and he would always walk away covering his ears while singing a song they were only joking. They wouldn't actually do the perverted things they say about her. When they broke apart she pinched his cheeks. "And so handsome!" Everyone thinks she secretly had something for Kendall.

"Tina thinks so too," Choir said. James mom looked at her then back to Kendall.

"Is that who was keeping you from us? She was here when James called. I told her you would make my traditional cookies with her tomorrow, like you two normally do," James mom said.

Kendall forced a smile. "Greeeeat," he said trying to sound cheerful.

"Hollywood spit out some fine looking boys," James mom said. "But I've never seen anything so pretty than Mrs. Choir here," she said. She pulled Choir to her feet and took the hair on the left side of her hair into her hands. "Your hair is absolutely amazing," She complimented. "It's like you stepped out of a Glamor Magazine. Extraordinarily beautiful,"

"She is something else," Kendall said.

"All right mom, no more harassing the poor girl. We assured her she would be fine during this trip. You sound like your going to kill, stuff and keep her in your closet," James said.

"I'm only complimenting the young girl," The mom said innocently.

"It's okay, James. I'm flattered, thanks," Choir reassured. The mom smiled.

"So which one of you boys is dating this girl?" The mom said.

"Mom..." James groaned. Choir had gone red from embarrassment this time.

"I bet it's Logan here. The geeks always get the girl," The mom said. Logan went wide eyed.

"Um no. I'm not dating any of them," Choir said wanting her to stop.

"Well why not? A beautiful girl surrounded by 4 very handsome and talented boys, you must have fallen for one of them," She said.

Kendall cleared his throat. "I think we should go unpack. I thought we could go to the ice rink so maybe unpacking first would be best," Kendall said.

"Yes, anything to get away from here," James said getting up. "Sorry about my mother," James said to Choir than made his way up then disappeared around the corner.

"Since Choir isn't making any moves on you Kendall I'm sure Tina is very interested in you,"

"Sweetheart, enough," James father interjected and began to escort her into the kitchen.

"Yes, please," Kendall's mom said. She got up and looked at Katie. "Kate, lets go unpack." She went to Kendall's ear. "If you need help just scream," She said.

Kendall nodded. Choir stowed her phone in her back pocket as Kendall walked in front of her. "We're still on for skating, right?" he asked.

"If you can squeeze me in before you date tonight with Tina,"

Kendall stared at her blankly but then a smile grew upon his face.

"What?" Choir asked.'

"Nothing." he said.

"No say it," Choir said.

"Nope. I gotta go unpack. Be ready in a half hour," He said and vanished around the corner.

When Choir was unpacked and got settled into the guest house with Katie and Mrs. Knight she made her way back to the house. The four boys were outside with there skates and dressed in thick sweaters. Choir had a fairly heavy coat on and put her hair up in a clip shaped in the form of a butterfly.

When she got to the boys she saw a white pair of skates in Kendall's hands. "Those for me?"

"Yep," he said and handed them to her. "Don't be afraid to hold onto me if you feel like you're going to fall," he said.

Choir gave him a look like she was weirded out by what by the way he was talking. "Why are you talking to me like that?" she asked.

Before he could say anything Tina called their names. Choir shook her head underwhelmed. "Doesn't she have friends?" Choir asked. James laughed.

"We're her friends," Kendall said.

"You keep telling yourself that," Choir said, Kendall's facial expression turned incredulous.

"She got you there," James said.

"You guys don't even know what you're talking about. We're friends. That's it."

"Uh-huh," Carlos said.

They were all quick to shut up as she came closer. When she got to them she hugged all four of them but gave Kendall a even longer and tighter hug. When she let go she spoke. Where you guys off to?" She asked.

"Ice skating," Logan said.

"Cool. Can I come too?"

"No," Choir said.

"YES," Kendall gave her a stern look. Choir stuck her tongue at him.

"Great. Uh just give me a sec and I'll go get my skates," She said cheerfully.

"Be careful of the cars when you cross the street. We wouldn't want you getting hit and killed." Choir said in a snarky voice.

"I'm sure I'll be fine," Tina said and hurried back home.

"Can't you be nice?" Kendall asked.

"I'm sorry being blond disables me from being anything but mean,"

"Look I'm sorry about the Alien comment. It was just a joke,"

"Oh yes it was soooo hilarious that I forgot to laugh," Choir said and began to walk away.

"That's so old!" He yelled after her but she continued to walk. "Hey you don't even know where you're going!" Kendall yelled.

"At least she's going in the right direction," James pointed out.

Kendall huffed."This is suppose to be fun,"

James scoffed. "Yeah until you decided to play tonsel hockey with Tina,"

"What he didn't kiss,"

"What I mean is you flirting with Tina-"

"I'm not flirting with Tina,"

"Right. Well you need to watch out because Tina has her googley eyes locked on you and Choir still loves you. Nothing is going to be fun for you until you set things straight with Tina and reassure Choir-"

"I don't have to reassure Choir of anything, alright? We're not together so I don't have to explain anything to her," Kendall was getting pissed.

"Have fun having her hate you," James voice becoming resentful

"Thankfully I have you to pick of the pieces. That's what you're so good at doing right? That's all you'll be good at with Choir-"

James stepped up to Kendall but Logan got in between and pushed James back. "knock it off! Not here! Carlos and I are fed up of all this bull shit." Carlos nodded in agreement. Now either knock it the fuck off or I'm going to fucking knock you both out and lock you in the trunk of limo till we go back to L.A. It's Christmas and I'll be damn if we're going to spend it hearing you two bitch and moan about Choir. She's not with either of you and made it clear she doesn't want either of you so let it go and lets just have a Merry fucking happy jolly god damn Christmas! Now fuck off and lets go ice skate!" he yelled.

"Is something wrong?" came Tina.

Logan looked at her and held a finger up to her. "Merry fucking happy jolly god damn Christmas!" he yelled hsyterically and began to walk off in the direction Choir went.


	4. Whataya Want From Me Pt 1

_"Hey, slow it down. Whataya want from me?"_

_-Adam Lambert "Whataya Want From Me"_

Damn it was so cold here in Minnesota. Nothing like the nice warm weather of L.A. I looked up for a second to look at the gray sky, the sun trying to shine through. Snow was falling lightly and the cold wind was gently blowing across my face. I've never felt weather like this. It wasn't a bad thing, but I was just so used to the warmth of the sun beating against my face that I longed for at least a second of the sun. As I continued on, even though I was alone, I could still sense Kendall and the others behind me. Kendall's eyes burying into the back of my head. God, I don't know what I'm going to do with him. I wish I could have him back but I wasn't going to be in at Palmwoods long, and I especially didn't want to go through another train wreck break up like the last two times. I know the first time was mostly my fault and the second time was mostly Kendall's fault. But the second time we could have worked.

I don't like, Tina but I'm not going to take Kendall back just so she couldn't have him. That wasn't fair to him. He deserved better. She gets on my nerves so bad, though. I know, I know jealous right? Well of course I'm going to be! I still have feelings for Kendall, and it just angers me that other girls are trying to get with him. At least wait till I'm gone for good.

"Wait up!" I looked behind me to see Kendall trying to catch up. I don't know why but my heart still races when I see him. You would think I would have gotten over this whole love at first sight feeling.

When he came by my side, slowing at my pace, he chuckled. "Do you even know where you're going?" he questioned.

I ignored that. Obviously I didn't know where I was going. But I just wanted to be anywhere where Tina wasn't. I want to know why it was taking so long to walk to the ice rink. "How much longer do we have to walk?" I asked.

He looked forward as if searching for the park. "No long," he replied stowing his hands in his pocket. I looked up at him but he kept forward. I watched his ice skates tied by the laces, bounce off his chest.

"Are you mad at me," he asked catching me looking at him. Mad? Why would I be mad?

"What makes you think that?" I asked.

"Well..." he started. He took his hands out his pockets and started counting off. "One, you stormed off. Two, you've been ignoring me. Three, been giving me dirty looks..." he trailed off waiting for an explanation.

"I'm not mad. I'm just-"

"Jealous?" Kendall said. My mouth dropped for a second.

"Really, Kendall?" I asked

"What? It just seems like it," Kendall said as if it was no big deal that he had just said that.

I looked at the handsome blond boy as if he lost all his marbles. Yeah, I was jealous but don't go saying it. I blinked at few times, in disbelief. BOYS! That go me so infuriated.

"Go marry her for all I care!" I spat a note of hysteria in my voice.

Kendall looked at me like I was crazy this time. "I just might," he said. It was silent for a moment. I could hear that idiotic girls voice behind us. James and Carlos were arguing with one another but it sounded like they were only joking around. Nothing serious. I tried so hard not to smile but James was shouting "NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, I WILL HURT YOU WITH MY MASCULINE TAN HANDS! YOU'LL FEEL PAIN AND SOFTNESS AT THE SAME TIME!"

I was brought back to our situation when Kendall chuckled. "Gotta love them," he said. I smiled faintly. I decided to put my skates over my shoulder because they were cutting the circulation out of my fingers.

"So, you really don't know how to skate?" he asked changing the subject. No more arguing? Good. It was stupid anyway. Just let it go. The tension eased and I smiled.

"Nope. You're still going to skate with me, right?" I asked.

"What kind of awesome, handsome, funny, talented, caring, person would I be?" he asked holding his hands to his heart, one hand on the other.

There he goes again. That flirting in a joking manner. Before I could say anything, Tina popped up behind Kendall. She held onto his shoulders looking over his right one.

"Hey, save me a skate?" she asked. I rolled my eyes. What I'd give to jam an icicle down her throat.

The only thing that satisfies me was Kendall's response. "Yeah sure," it sounded very unsure. He even looked at me with apologetic eyes. I raised my brow.

"Maybe the three of us can skate together?" Tina said. I know she said that just to piss me off. I could hear the sarcasm and the tease in her voice. I bit my tongue. I just wanted to strangle her right now.

"Choir can't skate. So, I think it would be best if _I_ just skated with her," Kendall said.

"Typical," Tina muttered.

I looked at her with a dirty look. "What is?" I said challengingly. I knew what she was talking about. Since I was from L.A I couldn't skate. I wanted to hear her say it so that way I can really have the fire in my eyes and give her what she's been asking for since she decided to tag along today. I'm a really angry person.

"Nothing," Tina said waving it off.

"No, I wanna know," I said stopping in my tracks. Tina had also stopped, folding her arms across her chest.

"Ladies, please," Kendall said keeping his ground in the middle of us. He put a hand on my arm making sure I stay back. James, Carlos, and Logan were caught up with us now.

"What's going on?" James asked. I could feel his eyes on me as mine glared at Tina.

"It's nothing. Can we just go to the park? Please," Kendall begged to me more than to Tina. I wiped his hand off my arm.

"Whatever," I said resentfully. "Tina, if you know what's good for you, stay away from me because I'm seconds away from punching you in the face," I threatened with a nasty voice. I started off...

What is with this girl? She must know about Kendall and I so why is she being such a bitch! I can't stand girls like her. I huffed, irritated. When I looked to the person beside me, thinking it was Kendall, James looked at me and smiled softly for a second.

"You okay?" James asked.

"Just peach-y. I gritted through my teeth. I looked ahead squinting to see if I could see the park. This was not my day. I thought it was going to be romantic and maybe tell Kendall how I feel but this Tina bitch it ruining everything. And Kendall is fricking going along with it! You see, this is why I liked James. He was so sweet and concerned about me. I love attention like that. James gave it to me even when I didn't deserve it.

So, why am I wasting all my time on Kendall? Why would I even have to ask myself that? I love him. He just seems different and we have this connection. When I see him, my heart races. When he touches me, body tenses up. I swear I could listen to him talk for days. I can't just give up on that. Even though that's basically what I did. I just need some time to think. I don't want a repeat of last time and I need for him to trust me. If he did that I would take him back.

But apparently he doesn't want me back since he's flirting with Tina. Oh wait, she's flirting with him. I rolled my eyes. If he wanted me back he wouldn't act like any of this was happening and set Tina straight. So, maybe he doesn't.

Maybe I waited too long to come back to L.A. Maybe, he's moved on. That would explain Jo. Which I'm not totally mad about. It's understandable. I forced him to do that. It's my fault. I left him broken and maybe Jo was helping him. I guess I couldn't be mad about that. I want him to be happy and if Jo makes him happy so be it. Hell, I don't think I was ever going to come back if my dad didn't get admitted to the hospital.

I didn't have to come back though. I could have just waited for a phone call about his state. I guess maybe a part of me wanted to come back. I admit, I missed him to death. How I longed to be held in his arms again, to watch him sleep, to feel the touch of his lips, the warmth of his breath, the sound that leaves his lips when he says my name. I threw that all away just so I couldn't ruin his friendship with James any longer. Maybe Logan was right. I should have left them both alone. Now I feel depressed.

UGH! But this Tina bitch! She couldn't possibly make him happy! Not like the way Jo or I could. She seems like a sister or something. I honestly could tell that he feels the same way. If he liked her, he would have told me. If there's one thing about Kendall, it's that he's honest. Though he didn't tell me about Jo. None of this made sense! Why would he want to make this potential triangle! Hasn't he learned from...Oh my god. He would dare-

James clearing his throat brought my focus back. He broke the silence. "You shouldn't worry about Kendall and Tina, Choir. They go way back I don't even think he fully understands Tina's intentions," James laughed.

"That's not funny. That's worse because she could make a move and he could go with it and they kiss and touch and take each others clothes off and kiss and touch and lick and sex each other,"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold you hairspray there, babe," James laughed. "That was a lot to say in one breath," I could feel my cheeks going red.

"Sorry, I just panicked,"

I looked behind me to see Tina and Kendall walking side by side. He saw me looking and half smiled."No, panic is when you've lost you hair care products but there's a store to replace them with," I looked back at him. "That was just a whole to level of panic. Clearly, you've lost your mind. And once you lose that there's no way of getting it back," James said trying his best to make it a joke. I didn't feel any better though.

"He knows of her intentions James. I know he does."

"You think Kendall is doing this to make you feel like he did with the our ordeal?"

"I don't know. Maybe?"

"That's crazy he wouldn't ever do that," James defended his best friend. "I mean, he loves you. He shouldn't be mad at you. He should be mad at me for what happened. I knew I should have backed off I just, I wanted you so bad..." He trailed off. He rubbed his chin. "He doesn't know about our kiss right?" James asked.

"No and he's not ever going to. Why you ask?"

"I think that maybe if he knew, he would do something like that,"

"He doesn't know. He wouldn't be talking to us-"

"Not us. Me," James corrected. "I don't know if you know but Kendall is back to his territorial ways since you've gotten back. He's snapped at me a few times," James divulged.

I pulled the butterfly clip out my hair. It felt like it was making my growing headache more intense.

"Dude, I'm so not in the mood for this. This is stupid!"

"Tell me about it. What are you gonna do?"

"Does it matter? We're not together. We aren't ever going to be so let him play this little game of his. Maybe he'll realized he's the only one playing and get bored. I don't know," I don't know why I said that. Part of me was so pissed that this could be what he was doing and the other part of me felt like it was true. I'm going home soon, so did playing along with him worth it? Someone was going to end up hurt and I didn't feel like having Kendall hate me or me hate him. It just wasn't worth it. We're friends. I wasn't going to risk that.


	5. Whataya Want From Me Pt 2

_"...Yeah I'm afraid. Whataya want from?"_

_-Adam Lambert "Whataya Want from Me"_

When the finally arrived at the skate rink they all filed into the bleachers to get their skates on. However before they could even sit, Carlos noticed four boys pointing at them. Two of them started laughing. Carlos put a hand to Kendall's chest. "Dude. Look," He said.

When Kendall looked to see what Carlos was talking about he groaned. "Dammit! I knew it wasn't going to be long before we saw these idiots."

"Man, I hate these guys," Logan scratched the back of his head looking around to find a way out.

James whined. "Can we leave?" he asked.

Choir looked at him. "Who are they?" she asked.

"See the guy in with the Black hair? That's Chad. The one with the Zac Efron hair do is Dean. Red jacket is John. Then the ass of them all is the one with the dirty blond curls. He's basically their leader. They use to bother us in high school." Kendall pointed out.

"They even gave us our own nicknames," James recalled. Hate was evident in his tone.

"But this time we're not going to take anything from them anymore. They're going to leave us alone once and for all," Kendall said.

"What are we going to do?" James asked.

Kendall thought for a moment. "Yeah, I got nothing. Lets leave," He said.

"Stop being such wimps," Tina said pushing past Kendall. She took a seat on the bleacher and put down her skates. "They're older and more mature,"

"Why are you defending them? You used to hate them as much as us," Kendall said.

"You've been gone for a while Kendall," Tina said. She crossed her leg and began to untie her shoe.

"Crap they're coming over here," James said moving behind Kendall.

"Ah! For the love of Gay J!" The curly blond called out. James moaned.

"What do you want?" you could hear the annoyance in Kendall's tone when the 4 were face to face.

Jessie smiled evilly. "What happened huh? Hollywood get sick of you and throw you up?" Jessie asked. The three boys behind him laughed. He's eyes fell on James who's eyes darted to avoid his gaze. "Could you have gotten any more gay looking?" He asked. James rolled his eyes and turned to walk away.

"You're one to talk," Choir said coming from behind Kendall.

Kendall grabbed her arm to pull her back. "Choir don't," he pleaded but she yanked her arm away and stepped up to Jessie. James turned to see what was going on. "You look more gayer than he does. What with you perfectly styled hair, tight jean pants, that curve smell which I'm pretty sure is the girl brand and that odd shade of pink on your lips. Is that lip stick?" Choir attacked everything she could. Everyone but Tina started laughing.

Jessie bit his tongue. He looked pissed. Choir folded her arms and smirked. "You think you're funny don't you?"

"Think?" she held her arms shoulder high. "I know I'm funny," She clapped her hands together. "Now why don't you go bother someone with your dick size?" She looked out on the skating rink. "Oh, look there's goes the little 5 year old," she looked back to Jessie and patted him on the shoulder. "I'm sure you two will get along just fine," she said.

"OOOOOHHHHHH!" Kendall, Carlos and James instigated. "You can go now," she shooed away.

Jessie was hesitant but walked off. When she turned Kendall ran his hands through his hair.

"That was amazing!" he exclaimed.

"Totally!" James said.

"Did you see his face!" Logan shouted and laughed menacingly

"You got him good," Carlos agreed.

Choir smiled brightly feeling proud of what she just did.

"I'll be here all day," she said the giggled. Tina rolled her eyes and got to her feet.

"See you on the ice, Kendall," she said and trodden over to the doorway.

Kendall didn't take his eyes off Choir. They stared at one another, Choir biting her lip.

James shook his head. "Come on you two. We're out doors and no where near a bed so keep it PG," he said.

Choir's eyes went big. "James!"

"Nice..." Kendall said. He took a seat and started unlacing his shoes. James took a seat beside him. Choir took a seat beside Logan who was leaning over untying his shoe.

Choir looked to Logan, watching him intently. Logan stopped tying his skate feeling her watching him. When he looked up at her sure enough His eyebrow lifted in curiosity. "Skate with me?" Choir asked.

"Hello! Did you happen to forget who you're talking to! I'm smart! I am not stupid enough to skate with you and have Kendall kill me," Logan said. Choir looked down to see him fumbling with his skate laces. She furrowed her eye brows then looked back up at him.

"Relax," She ordered. Logan withdrew his hands feeling slightly embarrassed.

"I thought you were skating with Kendall?" Logan questioned.

"I am. Just not for the whole day. I don't want to burden him and if I skate by myself I'm going to need a helmet," she said. At that, Logan and her looked at Carlos who was bobbing his head and humming to himself as he finished securing his last skate with a double knot. He abruptly turned his attention to Choir and Logan.

"What?" he asked. Logan and Choir looked up at his helmet and when Carlos realized what they were looking at it, he smacked his hands against the sides.

"GET YOUR OWN!" he screamed, terrified. He got up and ran for the life of him. Logan and Choir laughed.

When the laughing subsided, Logan sighed. "Fine. I'll skate with you but if Kendall gets any thing in his hand that can kill me, I'm putting you in front of me," he said. Choir nodded.

"Thanks, I think," she said and leaned over to tie her skates.

"See you on the ice," he said lastly and walked away.

"If you need any one to skate with later, I'm here for you," he said and walked out onto the ice. Choir watched him glide over to Logan and Carlos who were prancing around like a ballerina. She raised an eyebrow.

"It's truth or dare," Kendall answered sitting beside her. "We play it when there's not that many on the ice, but just enough to be humiliated," he added.

"Why?" She asked.

Kendall thought for a moment. "Because it's fun," Kendall finally said.

"Right," she laughed. Kendall got down on one knee and tied her other skate.

"Stop stalling," he said.

"I'm not! I just forgot how to tie my shoe," she said.

"Oh really?" he asked playing along. Choir nodded. "Well, then it's good you have me," he said.

"Yeah..." she trailed off. When Kendall was done he got up and sat down again. "Something wrong?"

"It's nothing big but I don't want to intrude on your first day back on the ice. Go have fun with your friends. Watching poor me so I don't fall and crack my head surely doesn't sound fun to do the whole time,"

"It's no big deal. I want to," Kendall said.

Choir pointed at him "You're lying. I can see it in your eyes," she dropped her hand. Kendall sighed.

"I really don't mind,"

"You're skating with people and that's it," Choir ordered.

"Well, if you insists," Kendall smiled. Choir smiled back and hit him on the knee playfully.

"Awesome. Let's go skate," she said. Kendall got up and walked in front of her. He held a hand out for her to grab. As soon as she got to her feet, she tripped forward. Kendall was quick to wrap his arms around her before she could knock them both down. They were face to face, chest tightly pressed against the others.

"We have some work to do," he said. Choir chuckled nervously.

When they skated around the rink a few times Tina came up from behind them. "Skate with me!" she begged. She skated in front of them and was now backwards skating. "Please?" she asked impishly. Choir scoffed a laugh.

"Just bring me to the wall," she ordered.

"You sure?" Kendall asked.

"Yep," Choir answered annoyed.

When Kendall skated her to the side she held onto the wall. "Go," she said.

"You're just going to stand there?" Kendall asked.

"I'll wave one of the boys over or try and skate on my own,"

"That sounds like a bad idea," Kendall said. "You were still have some trouble-"

"Just go. I'll be fine," she reassured.

"Okay. I'll be right back," he said. He skated back over to Tina who stood in the middle of the rink. Choir huffed and looked down at her feet. She attempted to move a foot but almost slipped. She grabbed the wall tighter for support.

"All right, Choir. You can do this. It shouldn't be that hard, right?" While holding onto the wall, she glided a skate forward a small distance than another one. Finally she was skating by herself but still holding onto the top of the wall to keep her balance.

"I'm so good," she laughed to herself. A little boy who looked about the age of 8 was looking at her as he skated back.

"Freak..." he said and skated off faster.

"Freak? I'm sorry who's the freak little ginger boy!" she yelled.

"Excuse me?" A little asked disgusted. "That's my son!" she said.

"Hey! I don't care!" Choir said rudely. The mother gasped and skated off. Just when she thought she was going to have peace to herself so she could concentrate on skating someone came singing from behind her.

"California girls, they're unforgettable. Daisy dukes, bikini's on top. Sun-kissed skin is so hot, they'll melt your Popsicle. Oooooh oh oooooh,"

When Choir looked behind her she looked back forward. "Very cute," She said sarcastically. Jessie skated by her side. "And hey, I have one for you. Fuck you, fuck you very, very much. 'Cause we hate what you do and we hate your whole crew. So, please don't stay in touch," she sang.

"Feisty," he said seductively.

Bluntly she spat "Go away," and continued to skate. She tripped but caught herself.

Jessie laughed. "Need some help?" He asked.

"I'd rather down the bottle of curve you have on," she sneered.

Jessie laughed again. Choir looked around to see if any of the boys were watching. Unfortunately, Carlos and James were still at there truth or dare and Carlos was walking on his hands on the ice while Logan watched. James was skating with some dark haired girl, deep in conversation and Kendall was all the way at the other end of the rink with Tina. Choir tripped again and this time Jessie had caught her.

"Let me go," she pushed him away and was fast to hold onto the wall before she could fall.

"Jeeze...I was just trying to help,"

"My ass," she said.

"Which is really fine if I do say so myself," Jessie bit his lip.

"Pig," she said. She stood still thinking of what to do next. She looked around to see Kendall still with Tina. She was grabbing him by the hand and pushing her body closer to his. Choir closed her eyes trying to relax.

"Are you okay?" Jessie asked. Choir opened her eyes than looked at him. "I'll skate with you," she said.

"Fantastic," he said eying her up and down.

"Stop it," she said.

Jessie laughed and held a hand out for her. Choir just watched it for a second. "I won't bite," he said. Choir gave him a dirty look and reluctantly gave her hand to him.

"I have a feeling I'm going to regret this," she said.

"You're too cute. No wonder why big nose likes you," he said. He gently pulled her into a skate but she grabbed his arm with her other hand and pulled him in tight.

"Relax, I'm not going to let you fall,"

"I don't trust you," she said.

"Clearly..." he trailed off.

"So why aren't you skating with big nose?"

"Ooh such a clever nickname. Let me guess yours. Tiny Jessie?" Choir asked looking down at his lower half. Jessie bit his tongue again, infuriated with the snide remark.

"You're a bitch, you know that?"

"Funny, I was thinking the same thing about you," Choir said looking down at his lower half again.

"I'm starting to wonder why Knight likes you know,"

"I'm wondering why anyone would like you," Choir said.

"Okay let's cut the crap," Jessie said turning Choir into him. "I have a place where we can get rid of all this sexual tension,"

"Sexual tension? In your dreams," Choir said as she tried to break free of his embrace.

"Don't deny it," Jessie whispered his hands trailed to her ass and he grabbed it.

"Perv!" Choir yelled and with all her strength she pushed him away. She was successful but then she slipped back and hit her head hard on the ice.

"Choir!" Kendall yelled. This caught the other three's attention. When they saw her on the ground they immediately skated over to her. Kendall dropped beside her.

"Babe? Choir? Wake up!" he panicked.

"What did you do to her!" James growled grabbing Jessie by the collar of his sweater. He violently let go.

"Nothing," he said. Chad, Dean and John came to Jessie's side. "She just couldn't handle it,"

"Sick freak!" James snarled. Logan grabbed James by the waist and pulled him back.

"It's not worth it," he said. James swallowed hard and looked down at Choir who was still unconscious. People were now gathering around.

"Oh man! Her dads going to kill us!" Carlos panicked.

"Choir wake up!" Kendall hit her cheek gently.

Tina skated over. "Oh god. She's probably faking it."

Kendall looked up at her. "Why don't you leave?" he looked at Jessie. "Take this garbage with you," he added. Kendall lifted Choirs head a bit and Logan's eyes went big.

"Kendall, she's bleeding," When Kendall brought a hand out from under her it was red.

"Now you're going to get it," James threatened Jessie but this time Carlos stopped him.

"Not now, dude," he said.

Choir's eyes began to blink open. "Are you okay?" Kendall asked. Choir's eyes began to look around. She looked at the three boys then back to Kendall. "What happened?" she asked.

"You fell and hit your head," Kendall replied. Choir closed her eyes then opened them back up. She pushed herself up on her elbows.

"Take it easy," Kendall advised with deep concern.

She looked at Jessie. "What the hell is wrong with you!" she snapped.

"Bite me," Jessie said and began to skate off. His three friends following closely behind.

She watched them go. Then a throb surged through her head. "Ow," she cried. She touched the back of her head. She could feel the wetness. When she brought her hand to her face she rolled her eyes at the sight.

"Dammit..."she groaned.

"Do you want me to call the EMT's?" a lady asked from behind her.

"Could you?" Kendall asked.

"I'm fine," Choir stated.

"But you're bleeding," Kendall reminded.

"I said I'm fine. Help me up," she told Kendall. He obliged and got her to her feet.

"This is all my fault anyway," she said.

"Did you ask for Jessie to make you fall?" Kendall asked.

"I might as well have," Choir said. "Get me off this ice," she said. Kendall helped her back to her shoes but when she leaned down to pick them up her head started spinning. Kendall then took over for her.

"I think we should get you to a hospital," Kendall said taking her left skate off.

"No hospitals all right!" she said aggravated.

"We're just want you to be okay," James said from the other side of the wall.

"Are we leaving?" Carlos asked.

"You three can stay. I'm going to walk Choir home," Kendall said. James nodded.

"We'll be home later before the lights. Get better," James said to Choir. She smiled faintly.

"Oh right. The lights," Kendall remembered out loud.

"The lights?" Choir questioned curiously.

"Yeah, it's an annual thing. Every year the day before Christmas Eve they light the Golden Oak park," Kendall explained. "They have singing, food, small little reenactment of the birth of Jesus, the whole nine yards,"

"What time does it start?" Choir asked.

"Starts at 6. At 8 is when they light the whole park. It stays lit for a half hour and then when they go off people start to leave. I just wish the light post wouldn't go out when the light did," Kendall complained.

"Freaking park gets so damn dark," James complained as well.

"Hopefully, my mom will pick us up," Kendall said.

Choir looked at her watch. "Well it's 4:40. I think once I get some rest I should be fine," Choir said.

"I think you should get that cut checked out," Logan said.

"Zip it speedy," Choir said. Kendall got her last shoe on and tied it.

"Let's get you home," Kendall said in an exhausted voice. She got up and held onto his arm. "See you guys later,"

"Get better," James said again.

"Thanks," Choir said.

As they walked out Carlos groaned. "I don't want to be Gustavo's turkey for New Year's Eve."

James laughed. "Don't worry. If anyone was going to be eaten by Gustavo, it's me. I mean, c'mon the guy practically hates me," James stated.

"True," Carlos and Logan said together and skated off.

"HEY!" James called after them...


	6. Hey, Jude

_**(Hey, sorry things have been a bit slow but it's all leading up to the next chapter. There is going to be an attempted rape scene so I'm just warning you. I should have it up by Thursday or Friday. The warning for this one is a detailed scene that might not be for everyone. Anyways, please review review review :) )**_

_"Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song, and make it better. Remember to let her into your heart. Then you can start to make it better."_

_-The Beatles (Paul McCartney) "Hey, Jude"_

When Kendall and Choir got back to the house they were able to avoid the parents and Katie as they headed up to James bedroom where Kendall was sleeping on a air mattress on the floor. Kendall closed the door behind them and led Choir over to the bed. When she sat down, he helped her take her jacket off and then took his off. He put them on the end of the bed and then Kendall hurried over to the bathroom to grab a face cloth and wet it. When Choir heard the sink running she got to her feet. She stumbled a bit and slightly hit the night stand beside the bed. James night brush fell off. Kendall poked his head out. "Sit back down," he ordered.

"No, Kendall I have to wash my hair. I have to get this blood off," she said. She made her way over to the bathroom, holding a hand to her head. Kendall sighed and threw the facecloth down. Choir turned the shower on and it showered over the bathtub. She turned to Kendall. "Get out," she said weakly.

"I don't think so. I'm not leaving you alone," he said.

"You're not going to watch me take a shower,"

"I could join," he said in a flirty manner.

"Keep day dreaming kid," she said.

"Well, I'm not leaving you alone," Kendall said folding his arms over his chest.

"Fine," Choir said. She lifted her white cami over her head to reveal a bright yellow bra. Kendall raised an eyebrow. She unbuttoned her white jeans and pushed them down revealing matching panties. "For pity sakes," she cried standing up then dropped down to sit on the edge of the tub. Kendall was enjoying her undressing but her pain was his main focus now. He got down on his knees and put his hands on her bare knees.

"I'm begging you Choir. Let my mother drop you off at the hospital so you can get checked out,"

"No! For the last time no! I'm already embarrassed enough," She cried.

"What? Why? There's nothing for you to be embarrassed about. This isn't your fault,"

Choir looked up at him and blinked a few times. "That's right. It's your fault.," she accused. if you hadn't been flirting with Tina I wouldn't have skated with Jessie," she revealed with a regretful tone.

Kendall looked at her incredulously. "You skated with Jessie...because of me?" he asked.

Choir didn't say anything and went to pull her legs out her pants. Kendall chuckled. "It's not funny,"

"I'm not laughing cause you can't get your legs out,"

"And I'm not talking about that either," Choir pulled a leg out finally and attacked the other one. Kendall stopped her and pulled it off.

"Why?" she asked defeated.

"Why what?"

"Why are you doing this?"

"Doing what?" Kendall asked honestly.

"You know what,"

"I really don't. But I do think you hit your head a little too hard,"

"Trying to make me pay for the hell I put you through with the James mess, and leaving you and-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Kendall said cutting her off.

"I'm not doing that,"

She gave him a look and he sighed. "I'll admit I just wanted you to fight for me. I've spent months wanting you to come back to me. When you do come back, it's me that goes running back to you. I wasn't going to do it this time. So, I used Tina to help me get what I want. I thought it might make you jealous and you would come running to me for a change. Apparently it worked, since you risked skating with the biggest ass on the face of this earth," Kendall said.

"That wasn't fair, Kendall,"

"And neither was what you put me through," Kendall bit back.

Choir fell silent. After a few moments a tear fell down her cheek but she was quick to wipe it away. She took in a deep breath. "I'm sorry," she confessed. Her voice cracked and Kendall pulled her into a hug. She buried her face into his shoulder.

"It's okay," Kendall said stroking her hair.

"I do want you back. I just can't go through what we went through the last two times. It hurts too much,"

"We can make it work this time," Kendall assured her.

Choir pulled back and ran a hand down his cheek. "You have to trust me though,"

"I do. No more assuming things. I trust you," Kendall whispered. Choir nodded. Kendall didn't wait another second. His hands that were laced in the back of her hair pulled her head closer to his till their lips met. Choir didn't object and kiss back enthusiastically. She could feel his warm tongue brushing her lips begging for entrance and she ardently obliged. Things got more intense as Kendall moved himself in between her legs and she began to unbuckle his belt. Kendall pushed back for a second to pull off his navy blue V neck shirt. When their lips and tongues met again with eager passion, Choir blindly searched his chest, feeling every part of his tone upper body. Kendall moved his hands to her ass and pushed himself closer to her.

"Oh...Kendall," Choir moaned with pleasure feeling her body tense with excitement. Her body was aching for more. She began to go back but Kendall stopped before they feel into the tub, holding a hand up against the bathroom wall. He pulled them back out more and began to unbutton his pants with one hand. He managed that and unzipping it but he he had to pull away to stand up. Choir was breathing heavily watching him with eager eyes as he pulled his pants down. He stepped out of them and grabbed his boxer waist line. Choir bit her lip. "What are you waiting for?" she asked breathless.

Kendall smirked and then pushed his boxers down which pool at his feet. There he stood, stark naked and hard. Every tone muscle in his body, showing, and it was all for her. Choir closed her eyes already anticipating the feeling of him inside her. It got her more excited. When she opened them, he stood there watching her reaction. "Give it to me," she ordered. He grabbed her by the arm and yanked her up. There bodies collided, there noses inches from the others. Kendall ran his hands up her back and to her bra clasp. He unhooked it and Choir pulled it free from her chest. Kendall looked down at their bare touching bodies, his hot breath heavy on her torso. "I want you so bad," his hands moved to her panty line. Choir shivered a bit as he pushed them down and felt them around her bare ankles. This was driving her insane. Kendall took at step forward, Choir taking one back and she then realized something.

"In the shower?" she asked.

Kendall smiled and moved them into the shower. Choir closed the glass door behind them. Once she did that he pushed her up against the bathroom wall and captured her lips with his. Choir ran her hands down his wet back, trailed them back up and gripped his wide muscular shoulders.

Kendall's lips danced to her collar bone and lower and lower till she felt his warm wet lips kiss her right breast. Choir's body arched forward in reaction and her breathing got heavier. She reached up and intertwined her fingers with her hair and grab her golden locks. He forced her breast in deeper and a moan emitted from her throat. This only mad her want more. One thing came to mind, and it was pinned in between her thighs. It drove her insane that he teased and didn't enter.

"Ken-" she swallowed hard. "dall," she managed to get out. Kendall let go and devoured her mouth, then as he cupped her bottom to lift her up a bit he gave her what was driving her to the edge of insanity. She shuddered when he entered, grabbing his shoulders. The intense pleasure of one long deep stroke forced her toe bit her bottom lip to stop herself from screaming. 

Kendall could feel the tightness and wetness of her that he moaned and didn't wait to thrust again. Her slippery body was falling so he hosited her up and pressed her body against the wall with his before quickening the pace. He pounded even further this time and if it didn't feel so fucking great he would have noticed Choirs nails digging into him painfully deep.

He was going to keep a slow pace but he needed her so bad that he couldn't resist going faster, longer, and deeper. Thrust after thrust after thrust he pounded relentlessly. Choir's lips were turning red and by mistake she let go and a loud moan of delight rang through the bathroom. Kendall stopped, laughing. She laughed too.

"Shhh..." he whispered putting his pointer finger to her lips. She kissed it with her full lips and opened her mouth to suck on it once. When she pulled back, kissing the tip once, she opened her eyes to a jaw dropped Kendall. She smiled evilly and bit her lip. "Keep going," she gulped and Kendall proceeded to enter and leave her. He started off slow for a couple of strokes but gained speed. Tough he didn't go as fast as he did before, not wanting to arouse suspicion downstairs. She let go of his mouth as her breath went from heavy breathing to loud gasps as he increased his pace. She was losing air from the kissing. Kendall's hot breath tickled her went skin. She laced her fingers into his hairs and turned to his ear. "Faster..."

Kendall obliged and just like she asked he went fast. He could feel it building up inside him now and didn't know how much longer he could hold on for. He bit her ear lobe and spoke"Babe, I got to let go," he whispered in one heavy breath.

After a second she spoke"I'm...almost...there," Then after one last stroke they both reached climax. Choir moaned his name and pulled at her own hair. Once Kendall finished her let her go and pressed his forehead against hers.

"That was amazing," he breath. He felt like his heart was going to beat out of his chest. Choir let go of her hair and cupped his face.

"It was remarkable," she breath into his mouth and kissed him.

Kendall couldn't help but smile when she was kissing him. He pulled away. "Let's get dressed before we get caught," he said when they broke apart.

Choir giggled. "Good idea,"

Kendall opened the shower door and stepped out. He grabbed two white towels from inside the long cabinet. When he turned to give Choir hers she was still standing up against the bathroom wall. She holding at hand to her forehead.

"What's wrong?" he asked softly to her.

Choir let her hand drop and she smiled. "My headaches gone."

Kendall flashed a smile. "Really?" he asked in astonishment. She nodded and stepped out the shower. When she secured it around her body and Kendall's around his waist she brought him into a hug.

She pressed her cheek against his dripping wet chest. "You don't know how much I've missed you," she gave his chest a small kiss.

He kissed her forehead. "Same here," Kendall said.

Suddenly, the door to the bathroom opened. Kendall and Choirs heart jumped. There before them stood...

_So__** who do you thinks at the door? Leave a review and with that who you think it is. :D**_


	7. Dirty Little Secret

"_I'll keep you my dirty little secret. Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret"_

_-The All American Rejects "Dirty Little Secret"_

__**"**Well, well, well," Mrs. Diamond said folding her arms across her chest. Upon her face was a growing smile that she tried to force back.

"M-M-Mrs Diamond," Kendall stuttered. He glanced at the side of the door. Choir was hiding behind the bathroom door holding a hand to her mouth to muffle the heavy breathing and in the other she held her clothes.

"I didn't know you were home," she said taking a few steps closer to him. Kendall took two steps back.

"Just got back home. It was too cold," Kendall lied. He swallowed hard as Mrs. Diamond took another step closer.

"I see..." she trailed off as she scanned Kendall's wet body up and down. She licked her lips then brought her eyes back to his.

"I don't mean to be rude or anything, but I do need to get dressed," Kendall said.

After a few seconds Mrs. Diamond glanced behind her to the door, then back to Kendall. She smiled and put a finger under Kendall's chin. "I should have known," She said in a seductive manner. Kendall turned his head to get Mrs. Diamonds finger out from under his chin.

"Know what?" he asked.

Mrs. Diamond ignored him and turned to walk out. She stopped at the door and knocked on it. "Sweetie," Mrs. Diamond directed to Choir from the other side of the door. Choir mouth the F word but kept silent. After a brief second she continued. "A bunch of Christmas presents arrived shortly after you left. I put them down cellar with the others till Christmas. I hope that's okay with you," She looked at Kendall and winked. "You owe me," at that she walked out and Choir closed the bathroom door with her free hand.

She looked at Kendall. "What was that?" she asked.

"Don't ask," Kendall said embarrassed.

"She's not going to tell on us, right?"

Kendall walked over to the sink and gripped the sides. "I don't think so," He answered watching himself in the mirror. "This is just friggen great!"

Choir sighed, walked over to him, and wrapped her arms around his waist. "Lets get dressed before your mom walks in. Or worse...Katie,"

_**(I love how everyone thought it was going to be James. Do I seem that predictable? lol)**_

"_So a day when you've lost yourself completely, could be the night when your life ends,"_

_-The All American Rejects "Move Along"_

Night was creeping upon them as 6 o'clock came. Carlos, Logan and James had returned back from the ice park. They came home to warm up before heading to the park with Choir and Kendall. Mrs. Knight dropped them off at the park entrance where the play ground area was.

"You have the cell phone, right James?" Mrs. Knight asked from out the window.

James looked in and smiled. "It's in my back pocket," James assured.

"Okay, I should be back around 8:30 so meet me back here," Mrs. Knight instructed. When she drove off they walked across the play ground to the festivities on the other side. They walked along the cement path that was fenced off on both sides and decorated with vibrant colored lights that were yet to be lit. Kendall took Choir's hand in his and intertwined his fingers with hers. James was behind them walking and looked down at their hands and rolled his eyes. Logan saw this and hit him in the chest. He mouthed stop and shook his head. James waved him off. They were coming to a cross roads and James made a sharp left. In another direction, Tina's eyes found Jessie and his friends messing around a big Christmas tree. "See ya later," she said to the others without waiting for them to say anything. Kendall and Choir kept straight as they made their way towards the stage that was set up. Straight ahead, Carlos mouth dropped and his eyes lit up with excitement as he saw the "Santa's Village" sign.

"I would make a better Santa," he said pulling a long white beard from his back pocket and put it on. The beard length went all the way to his knees.

"Or Dumbledore," Logan teased.

Carlos outstretched his arms to the parents with their little children, "I am Santa Carlos the all powerful Wizard. I can give you a wand to play with!" Carlos said. A mothers mouth fell and she grabbed her little girl and ran off with her.

Logan's eyes went big and slapped a hand to his forehead "Or a pedophile..." and ran off.

Meanwhile, Kendall and Choir stood before the stage. Kendall shoved his hands in his pockets. "Wanna see if they'll let us sing a Christmas song together?" he asked smiling.

"What!" Choir asked.

"Yeah...I mean maybe they'll let us since we're pretty good at it," he said. Choir shrugged her shoulders.

"How about Big Time Rush sings? You guys could totally rock a Christmas song," Choir said.

"That doesn't sound like a bad idea," Kendall said looking around for his four best friends. "Let's split up and look for them," Kendall looked back at her and she nodded.

Choir made her way back up the path from whence they came seeing no sign of the boys. When she turned on another path she squinted her eyes seeing James being followed by Jessie and his friends along with Tina in tow. Fire raged through her heart as she knew this couldn't be good. So, she began to walk faster until she was behind Jessie and his friends. "Whoa," Jessie laughed his friends joining in. She pushed through them until she was by James side and pulled him aside. James was in shock for a moment but relaxed when he saw it was hers.

They stopped when Choir and James had. "You're just a party killer," Jessie said.

"Why don't you fuck off and leave James alone," she sneered.

"You know Blondie, you're going to get what's coming to you," Jessie warned. Choir scoffed.

"Don't threaten her," James stepped up. Choir held a hand up to James.

"Am I suppose to be scared of you?" she asked laughing.

Jessie eyed her but walked off. The others followed. James turned to Choir. "You should be careful. Jessie-"

"Is a low life who needs help," Choir said cutting him off.

James looked down at his feet "You shouldn't underestimate him," James said a hint of shame in his voice.

Choir furrowed her eyebrows. "Am I missing something?"

"James!" Kendall yelled as he came running towards them. James pivoted quickly. Kendall stopped in front of them out of breath.

"Carlos..." he trailed off trying to catch his breath.

"Carlos what?" James asked.

Kendall pointed behind them, "Security is trying to arrest him!" Kendall said.

"What? Why?" James asked.

"I don't know. When I saw Logan he was trying to fight off the security with a line of lights and Carlos was behind him wearing a long wig,"

"Oh like Dumbledore?" James asked.

"I think he was aiming for Santa," Kendall said.

"Or both," Choir suggested.

After a moment of thought everyone's eyes bugged out their sockets and they ran for it. Kendall led them to the side of the park where the play ground was. Where Logan and Carlos had been fending for themselves. They looked down at the scene from top of a hill. Choirs jaw fell as the sight of Logan sitting on one of the security guards who was tied up in Christmas lights. The other was tied to a tree. Carlos was circling him singing "Santa Clause is Coming to Town." Both security guards were squirming to get free.

"Son of a bitch," Kendall breath. "We can't go anywhere without getting into trouble, can we?" he asked.'

"I learned _that_ when were 7. Carlos was having his birthday party and we peed in his pool because Logan's favorite color was yellow." James admitted.

Choir made a what the fuck did he just say kind of face. She looked back at Logan who was laughing menacingly. "We have a way of finding trouble," James added.

"Logan and Carlos look for it. As for you and I, it just find us." Kendall said.

"This is true," Kendall agreed

"Guys you think we should clean this up before someone sees?" Choir asked looking around.

"Good idea," Kendall said. Logan waved at them when he saw the three of them.

"Are you out your mind?" James asked.

"It's liberating! Sticking it to the man! You should try it!" Logan said.

"It won't be so liberating when they stick you in the coo-coo house with Carlos there. Then you'll be sticking to the floor after laying there for 10 years!" James squeaked.

"I didn't think it all the way through,"

"Really?" James asked sarcastically.

Logan jumped to his feet. "My mother! What will she think?" Kendall put his hands on Logan's shoulders.

"Relax. Lets just get Carlos and run," Kendall said.

Logan nodded and turned around. "Carlos! Lets go!" he yelled. Carlos took his beard off and put it on the security guard before running over to the others.

"WOO!" he yelled and continued to run up the hill.

C'mon," Kendall said and followed after him.

When they came back to the decorated side of the park Kendall began to speak. "So on my way looking for you two," Kendall said looking at Logan and Carlos. "I found the person in charge of the park activities. Remember Marcie?" he asked the guys.

"Red head Marcie with the wrinkles?" James asked.

Before Kendall could answer Carlos spoke. "and the snag tooth?

"And the lop sided breast?" Logan asked.

"oh and the big mole on her-"

"Yes!" Kendall said cutting James off.

Choir shook her head, giggling.

"I told her about us and she said she would love it if we sang," Kendall was finally able to continue.

"That's awesome. Did she give us a specific song?" Logan asked.

"She said either Let it Snow or Sleigh Ride," Kendall answered.

"When do we go on?" Carlos asked.

"Just before they light the park,"

"That's cool," Logan said.

"Right. So what song should we do?" Kendall asked.

"I say Let it Snow," Carlos said.

"Yeah I like that one too," James said.

"Definitely," Logan smiled.

"Great. It's settled. Let me go tell Marcie." Kendall said. Choir looked around to see a concession stand serving hot Chocolate and donuts.

"Come with me to get a drink?" she asked James who nodded.

"Get me one too," Logan said to them.

As they walked over to the stand James noticed his shoe untied and bent down to tie it. "I'll be right there," he said to Choir. She half nodded and kept going. When she approached the stand she saw that it had two blends of hot chocolate. She turned to see James who was wiping his pants free of snow. Her smile fell when Jessie was coming toward him. James apparently didn't see him as he continued to clean off his pants. Suddenly, James stood straight up and Choir smacked a hand to her mouth. She couldn't believe what she just saw. What Jessie just did to James. He had smacked his ass and kept walking but he looked t Choir and winked.

"What the hell," Choir said under her breath. James looked to see Choir watching with a gawking expression. James didn't know what to do and with embarrassment clearly on his face he turned back.

"James!" Choir called out to him.

"James!" She said grabbing his arm. James turned into her.

"What?" he asked. Choir held her tongue as Logan, Carlos, and Kendall were watching them.

"Um...never mind," she said.

"You all right?" Kendall asked.

"I'm fine. I just saw something," Choir said. James glared at her. Choir shook her head. "I meant, I thought I saw something. Yeah, a bug on James back," Choir said.

"It's the winter, Choir. Why would there be any bugs out?" Logan asked.

"I guess I never thought about that,"

Kendall chuckled and pulled Choir into a hug. "You should really get your head checked," he joked and kissed her forehead. Choir kept her eyes on James who kept his glaring eyes on her.

The sky was now deep sea of pure blackness as 8 o'clock was upon them. James didn't speak to Choir for the whole time. When it was time for the boys to sing, she stayed in the crowed and cheered them on. However, her happiness immediately drained when she saw Jessie come up from beside her. "Mind standing somewhere else?" she asked rudely.

"I think I like it better here. That way I can get a good view of James and talk to his infatuation at the same time," Jessie said. It didn't take Choir much thought to come to a conclusion.

"Are you gay?" she asked.

Jessie looked at her from the corner of his eyes and his lips widened. "Bi," He the back of his hand down her check. She slapped it away.

"Well, that doesn't matter because I'm not into you and neither is James," She snapped.

Jessie shrugged his shoulders. "You think that really matters to me?"

"You better leave him alone-"

"Or what?" Jessie asked. Before Choir could answer the lights of the park lit up the night sky. The crowd "Oohed and Awed."

Choir gave Jessie one last dirty look before making her way to the boys who were getting off the stage. "Baby," she began as she looked around for Jessie. Kendall looked at her but then to the person who had began to talk into the mic on the stage.

"I hope everyone had a nice evening. Thank you Big Time Rush for that lovely rendition of "Let it Snow,"" the crowd cheered one more time for them. He cleared his throat, "The lights will be on for another half hour so enjoy!" he shouted cheerfully before exiting the stage. Kendall brought his attention back to Choir.

"Let's go walk around," he said.

"Wait. I have to tell you something," Choir said irritation in her tone.

Kendall sighed. "Can it wait? This is the best part of the night and I want to share it with you," Kendall said.

Choir looked at James then back to Kendall. "Okay. It was nothing anyway." She smiled faintly. Kendall pulled her into a walk.

"I wonder what that was about," Logan wondered out loud.

James scratched the back of his head. "Probably nothing," He noticed that people were closing concession stand. "I'm going to go see if I can get a doughnut," he said.

"Wanna try and steal other people's gloves?" Carlos asked Logan. Logan looked at him like he was nuts but then shrugged his shoulders.

"Eh, why the hell not," he said and Carlos smiled brightly...

It was almost a half hour later and people were starting to head out. Choir and Kendall were admiring the tallest Christmas tree in the park. "Did you have a great time?" Kendall asked.

"Yeah, it was fun," She said after a moments thought. Kendall smiled and brought her into a kiss. Kendall wrapped his arms tightly around her waist. She gripped the back of his neck as she kissed back. Choir opened her eyes seeing Chad, Dean, and John but no Jessie. She pulled away. "Where's James?" she asked.

"How am I suppose to know?" Kendall asked. Choir began to scan the park with her eyes.

"I'm sure he's fine. What's the matter?" He asked. Choir saw Carlos and Logan only a short distance away but didn't see James anywhere. She swallowed hard.

"We gotta find him," she said and ran off.

"Choir! Wait! The lights are going to go off!" Kendall yelled. Kendall spoke to soon as the lights all went off at once. "CHOIR!" he yelled.

Kendall went to go after her but he barely see anything in the pitch dark. "CHOIR!"


	8. Horseshoes and Handgrenades

"_I'm not fucking around. I think I'm coming out. All the deceivers and cheaters, I think we got a bleed right now"_

_-Green Day "Horseshoes and Handgrenades"_

"JAMES!" Choir yelled listened intently for a few seconds to give James the opportunity to call back. When James didn't she began to run again. It felt like she had been running forever looking for James. She blindly ran across the park not knowing which direction she was going. She felt the ground beneath her descend and she knew she was coming towards the park area. Choir could make out small street lights which barely gave off light into the park. She could see some of the dark shapes of the play ground. Her heart than began to race as she heard James voice. He was struggling with someone as she could make out "Get off me!"

Choir began to walk slowly trying to follow James cries. She could feel her body shaking a little bit. When she came to the merry go round she stopped dead in her tracks. Two dark figures were on the ground. She could see Jessie straddled over James, trying to cover her mouth. "Get off me, Jessie!"

Choir then ran at them and threw herself at Jessie. They went rolling and James scrambled to his feet. Jessie swore under his breath.

"Choir!" James panicked.

Choir hurried to her feet. "James, run!" She ordered.

She stepped over Jessie. "No you don't," Jessie said and he grabbed her ankle. She fell face first to the ground. Jessie got to his feet before James could go to her aid and he punched James across the face. James stumbled back a bit. He touched his lip where blood was being drawn from the split. Jessie kicked him in the stomach and James hit the ground. Jessie began to kick James relentlessly in the stomach. Choir then jumped on his back wrapping her arms tightly around his throat. He pulled at her tight choke hold and broke free. She fell back and onto the ground. Jessie turned around and looked down at her. He grabbed her by the hair.

Choir screamed. He dragged her over to the merry go round and bashed her head twice against the hard metal. "Leave her alone!" James groaned from behind them. "It's not her you want!"

"Oh on the contrary, James. I want the both of you. Isn't that right Choir?" He asked her smiling. She was almost knocked out. He stroked her hair. "You should have gotten that head injury looked at," He teased.

"Go to hell," Choir retorted. Jessie smiled sadistically. He climbed on the merry go around to get on her. Choir began to fight back but he grabbed her wrist and pinned them over her head. "Get off me! Kendall!" She screamed for the one she loved. Jessie then pulled her by the hair, picked her head up, and banged it against the metal once again. Then one more time. She laid motionless underneath him.

"I told you that you were going to get what was coming to you, princess," he said searching her body with his eyes. He unzipped her white coat and pulled it off her. He bit his lip as he gazed hungrily at her chest. "Now I know why Kendall and James are fixated with you," He then looked back as he heard foot steps behind him but James was too quick. "AHHH!" Jessie yelled as he was pulled of her by his hair.

"How do you like getting pulled by your hair, bitch?" James growled. He punched Jessie in the face who collapsed on the ground motionless. James looked to Choir who was also passed out. He walked over to her.

"Choir..." he trailed off as he leaned over her. She remained still. He looked behind him at Jessie to make sure he was still there. When he looked back to Choir he tapped her cheek lightly with his hand. When she didn't wake he exhaled sharply. "Let's get you out of here," he said to her.

When he went to scoop her up he let her go because his head was pulled back and he howled in pain. Jessie had him by the hair. Choir's head hit the metal again and she rolled over in pain. "I don't know, James! You tell me!" Jessie said in James ear.

He threw James down into the snow and kicked him in the stomach. James bucked forward in response. Jessie fell to his knees beside James and turned him over on his back. He grabbed his brown hair and kept a painful hold on it. "See what I don't get is that you're trying to help a girl who loves another guy. A girl who doesn't give a damn about you. I mean if she did she would be with you right? But nope," He laughed and squeezed James lips together. "She's too busy getting fucked by your best friend. He's got his dick in her. He's making her scream. He's holding her close to him at night. " Jessie laughed for a second. He let go of his face "All she does is use you," he paused. "Another thing I don't get is why she chose Kendall when she could have..." he trailed off and ran a hand down James chest to his belt buckle. Jessie smiled. "...you," and he grabbed where James dick was. James then spit in his face. Jessie was infuriated as he wiped the saliva away from his eye. James tried to take the chance to get Jessie off of him but Jessie kneed him in the balls.

"Stop it!" Choir cried. Jessie looked to see Choir trying to get to her feet but she fell on her hands and knees.

"What? Now you care about him?" Jessie asked.

"I've always cared!" Choir sobbed.

"Oh yeah of course you have," Jessie said and punched James in the face.

"Stop it!" Choir yelled again. Jessie punched him in the face. "God, just stop it!" she screamed. Jessie ignored her cries and punched James in the face again. Choir held a hand to her forehead and she broke down in tears. "just...just stop. I love him just stop...you're going to kill him."

James was almost dead on the floor when Jessie stopped. James fought to keep his eyes open. Jessie ran a hand across James cheek. He lowered his face to James. "You hear that? I think Miss California realizes she picked the wrong BTR member," Jessie kissed James cheek "Too bad you're mine," he said in his ear and then got to his feet. He walked over to a sobbing Choir who was sitting up against the merry go around.

Jessie bent down and ran a hand down her hair. "For some reason I just don't believe you. I mean I know I can be a tad _mean_ to James but that's how I flirt. You toy with his emotions, send him mix messages, that's just _cruel_. Much, much worse than what I do to him. So, do you love James?" he asked. Choir shuddered and she sobbed even harder.

He pulled her hair again. "Ah!" left her lips.

"I just asked you something,"

"Are you deaf?" Choir asked.

"I could kill you right now and you have the nerve to spat your bitchy attitude at me?"

"Fuck you," Choir said. Jessie held a finger to her face. His mouth opened to say something but he closed it and smiled.

He got up and went back over to James. "Experiment time," he clapped his hands together. Choir gulped. And with one swing he kicked James in the stomach again. James cried in pain this time and rolled on his side grabbing the other side that was kicked with Jessie's brown boot.

"NO!" Choir screamed. "Kendall! Where are you!" her screams ran through the night sky. Jessie laughed.

"Now say it," Jessie said. He kicked James yet again in the rib cage. "Say: I love James," Jessie said.

"You sick son of a bitch!"

"Nope," Jessie said and kicked James again.

"ALL RIGHT!" Choir screamed at him. Jessie stood still. "I love him. I love James. I've loved him since the day I met him," James was looking at her. His face was badly beaten. But she could still see the magnificent twinkle in his eyes. It teared her up inside to see him in this state. "You mean everything to me. I couldn't ever imagine not having you in my life. I realized that the day you were there for me when my father was admitted to the hospital. When you kissed me I just knew I could always count on you," she divulged with profound sincerity.

After a pause she punched the ground. "God, what is wrong with you!" she gritted through her teeth. Jessie smirked.

He kicked James one more time but this time it was in the head. Just like that he was out cold. Choir screamed and got to her feet. She ran at Jessie but he grabbed her and lifted her over his shoulder.

"You just love pissing me off," He muttered and brought her back over to the merry-go-round. "Let me go!" Choir clawed at his back. He dropped her on the ride and got on top of her. "No- stop!" He pressed all his weight on her to stop her from squirming then pinned her arms back over her head. She couldn't scream anymore as her throat was hoarse from the other times. She felt the button on her jeans being undone and then heard the sound of the zipper being pulled down. "Don't-" she protested. Suddenly a loud ding rang through the sky and Jessie collapsed on her. Choir pushed him off her and sat up to see Kendall standing before her with a shovel tightly clutched in his hands. His expression was blank but terror was evident in his eyes. He was badly beaten as well. Like her and James, he was also missing his coat, his hair was every where, his clothes dirty and ripped at the collar, his lip was split at the bottom and top right corner, and had a gash on his throat. Kendall dropped the shovel. Choir was shaking as she ran her hands through her hair and began to rock back and forth. Choir didn't look at him though. She kept her eyes locked on James as tears spilled uncontrollably down her cheeks.


	9. Bohemian Rhapsody

"_Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Caught in a landslide. No escape from reality. Open your eyes, look up to the sky and see. I'm just a poor boy. I need no sympathy. Because I'm easy come, easy go, little high, little low. Any way the wind blows doesn't really matter to me. Mama, just killed a man. Put a gun against his head, pulled my trigger now he's dead. Mama, life had just begun. But now I've gone and thrown it all away. Mama, didn't mean to make you cry if I'm not back again this time tomorrow. Carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters. Too late, my time has come. Sends shivers down my spine. Body's aching all the time. Goodbye everybody, I've got to go. Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth. Mama, I don't wanna die. I sometimes wish I'd been born at all..._

"_I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me..._

"_He's just a poor boy...spare him his life from this monstrosity..._

"_We will not let you go..._

"_So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye? So you think you can love me and leave me to die? Oh baby can't do this to me baby. Just gotta get out, just gotta get right out of here. Nothing really matters. Anyone can see. Nothing really matters to me. Any way the wind blows..."_

_-Queen "Bohemian Rhapsody_

Kendall sat in a hospital examination room dressed in one of their gowns. He stared blankly at the white wall in front of him. As the nurse cleaned his bloody lip and the drying blood near his neck wound thoughts of the flashing cop car and ambulance lights, the look in Choir's face that hadn't changed since he bashed Jessie in the head with the shovel, his mom apologizing for being late, Logan asking him if he was okay, James limp body being pulled away after the paramedic shouted that he wasn't breathing, Carlos holding a gauze to his arm to stop the bleeding that would surely need stitches after being knifed circled in his thoughts. The only good thing about tonight...Jessie was dead.

It all seemed like one big freaking nightmare to Kendall. But it was all real, as he sat there, the doctor beginning to ask questions. He didn't know when the doctor had got there, but he was now standing in front of him examining his condition and questioning him. Besides having to almost relive the experience when talking to the cops and the Doctor it was now keeping him from thinking. He was relived to be pulled from his overwhelming thoughts that relentlessly tortured his already beaten body. The thoughts of James possibly being dead, Choir being raped, and what was going to happen to him because of him killing Jessie. It was all too much and he was surely going to be pushed over the edge if he didn't stop thinking. But he wished those questions would be answered no matter how much it would pain him if it was yes, yes, jail. He needed to know. For some reason he couldn't bring himself to ask. What he wanted was for people to just come out and say it.

"Kendall," The doctor began as he slid blue latex gloves on. Kendall looked at him but didn't answer. "You're going to need quite a few stitches for that neck wound. You said you were hit in the neck with a shovel?" Kendall nodded. The nurse came in with a plastic pan of utensils and placed it beside the doctor on the counter. The doctor picked up a needle in the pan and held it up to his face. "This is to numb it so you don't feel any of the pain while I stitch, okay?" Kendall nodded. The doctor looked at the nurse then back to Kendall. "Son, can you talk?" he asked curiously. Kendall didn't say anything and looked away. The doctor sighed "Hold still..." he said as he drew closer to Kendall's neck with the needle. Kendall winced at the sharp pain that the needle created. After a few more injections of numbing serum the doctor went to work with the stitching.

"Kendall honey!" Mrs. Knight came hurrying in. Kendall smiled faintly. "Are you okay?" she asked.

"I'm..." he trailed off because honestly he didn't know how to answer that. If he said yes, he would be lying. If he said no he would upset his mother so he simply shrugged his shoulders. The mother sighed and tears filled her eyes.

"I'm so sorry baby. I'm sorry I kept you waiting. I lost track of time. This is all my fault-"

"No it's not. Don't say that. It's not ones fault but..." Kendall trailed off. He wanted to say his name but he couldn't bring himself to do it. God, how much he hated that kid. He didn't care that he was dead. He deserved it but his mother knew who he was talking about and know that that was the kid Kendall killed and who knows what was going to happen to him. He was sure she was thinking about it too but he didn't want to say it.

It went silent. The doctor lifting Kendall's chin to have more access to his throat so he could get the stitching done and clean. "How many stitches?" Kendall's mother asked.

The sniffed as he tied the 5 stitch up. He looked at the neck and then to Mrs. Knight. "Maybe 13-15. Possibly even 17," He said. He started in on a new stitch. "Still numb or can you feel?" The doctor asked.

"I'm fine," Kendall said.

"You maybe one of the luckier ones tonight," The doctor finally said after a long moment of silence. "Well besides Mr. Henderson..." The doctor trailed off. Kendall's eyebrows rose in curiosity.

"Please, doctor. Not right now..." Mrs. Knight asked.

"Why," Kendall chocked on his word, that simple question was the most hardest thing he's ever asked in his life.

"Kendall-"

"I wanna know," Kendall stated cutting his mother off from protesting.

Kendall thought for a moment and answered with one of the simplest answers he's ever known, but tonight it would be the hardest thing he would ever have to. "Yes."

The doctor looked at Mrs. Knight who nodded. "Well, your friend James has a severe concussion and is in a coma. No one knows when he'll wake up for if he does. He's got 8 broken ribs, minor cuts on the face and a badly bruised eye. The young girl has a severe concussion which need 9 stitches, minor cuts and bruises as well and she won't let any of the nurses check her for the possibility of rape. She's showing a lot of signs but won't let anyone confirm it. Mr. Garcia needs needs 19 stitches for his knife wound, 5 cracked ribs, and minor cuts and bruises," the doctor revealed.

Kendall took it all in his hands tightening into fists. "Can I see him? James?" Kendall asked.

"Once I'm done here you can." The doctor replied. "After him, try and get the girl to answer if she's been raped or not," The doctor said.

"She's a stubborn girl," Kendall said.

"That she is...She threw her shoe at me," He said as he tied the 11 stitch in. "I think you might only need 15,"

"We'll be able to leave right after this right?" Mrs. Knight asked.

"Yep. Kendall, Carlos and Choir should all be free able to be home for Christmas," At that a nurse came in.

She knocked lightly on the door and the doctor looked at her. She looked at a chart in her hands then back up at the Doctor. "Sir, James is awake," She said.

"Really?" he asked. The nurse nodded her head and walked away. The doctor looked at Kendall and smiled. "It's a Christmas miracle," he said. Kendall merely smiled, he didn't think it was funny cause it sounded like he was mocking him instead of happy that he was actually awake. He wasn't going to assume so he just kept his mouth shut. "Few more stitches and you're free to see him,"...

Choir came to James room after seeing the nurse leave in a hurry. Her room was right next to his so she saw her leave in a hurry which led her to believe something was up. When she entered his room and he looked at her. She froze in place. As if she couldn't cry anymore tonight, her heart felt like it was going to burst out her chest, her eyes welt with tears and her throat got tight.

A smiled cracked on James face. "Hey..." his voice was hoarse. Choir inhaled and her body shook. She ran to his side and hugged him tight. James held her back with one arm and stroked her hair with the other.

"I'm so sorry," She sobbed into his chest.

"You should be," He paused to laugh. "Were you out your mind when you decided to come looking for me?" he asked.

"That's not funny, James," Choir said.

"You know what is though? When you told me to run after you threw yourself at Jessie. Like I was ever going to do that," James said.

Choir broke free from her hug wiping her wet eyes. "Why are you joking around? You could have been killed!"

"But here I lay and even though I was repeatedly punched in the face, I probably look better than Kendall, Carlos, and Logan all together," He continued. Choir giggled.

"Stop," She said in a serious voice.

James smiled. "I should be the one that's sorry though," he said.

"For what?" Choir asked.

"I realized something when Jessie was making you say you loved me. You can't force someone to say something, just like I shouldn't have tried forced you to feel something for me," James said. "It's just wrong. And I'm sorry I kept on forcing myself on you," James said.

Choir swallowed hard as she looked away. "Don't cry," James said softly. Choir shook her head and put her hands to her face.

"I don't anymore," She cried. James furrowed his eye brows and when he touched her arm she was quick to get to her feet and backed away.

"Are you okay?" James asked his forehead creasing more as he watched her.

Choir shook her head again. "I don't know..."

James eyes widened with horror. "Know what? Choir did he-" James asked trying to sit up but his face scrunched up in pain and he laid back down.

"He got inside me!" She freaked and took two steps back. She placed her hands on the side of her head. "I don't know what to do anymore. I deserved it-"

"No- Choir-"

"Sweetheart!" Mrs. Diamonds voice rang through the hospital room as she entered. "I got here as soon as I could!" As she ran to him and kissed his cheek and brought him into a hug. That split second that she was in his view of seeing Choir than out of the view when hugging him, Choir was gone.

Kendall, who was now dressed in his jeans and a white T the hospital let him have, was walking down the hall to get to James room. His walking slowed when he saw his girlfriend hurrying into one of the girls bathroom. The possibility of her being raped almost immediately infiltrated his thoughts.

When he entered the bathroom she was on the floor backed against the wall sitting with her knees against her chest and her arms wrapped tightly around them. Kendall slowly and carefully approached her. "I don't want to be with you anymore," She said with a blank tone. Kendall stopped abruptly in his tracks.

"What?" Kendall asked, perplexed.

"I said I don't want to be with you anymore. So, please, just leave," She gritted through her teeth. Kendall blinked a few times but then lowered himself to her.

"Baby-" he said reaching a arm out to touch her shoulder but she smacked it away and scrambled out of his reach.

"Don't- Just don't!" She shouted. Kendall stood up.

"Choir, someone needs to check you out," Kendall informed her with great concern and hurt in his voice.

Choir backed away even further. "I can't. I'm sorry. I can't. I can't. I can't do this. I can't. I can't..."

Kendall went to take another step but she yelled. "Don't," and he put his foot back on the ground. Choir then got to her feet and wrapped her arms around her stomach. "Get out," she ordered, her voice shaking.

"Not until you agree with me-"

"You can't make me. You can't make me do anything,"

Kendall swallowed and ran a hand through his hair. "I'm not going to make you do anything,"

"Yes you are! Just like Jessie made me-" She stopped herself as she pulled at her hair. She violently pointed at the bathroom door. "Get out!" she ordered again.

"No!" Kendall said forcefully.

Choir started towards Kendall and tried to get by him but he held his arms out. "No!" Choir screamed as he brought her into his arms to hold her back against his chest.

"It's going to be okay. I swear," Kendall said trying to calm her down but she was able to get free and turned and pushed him against the bathroom wall.

"What is wrong with you!" Choir yelled at him. Kendall stared at her, speechless. She stared back at him for a few seconds and then ran out.

When Kendall exited the bathroom to see if she was anywhere in sight, she was gone. He sighed heavily. He began to walk forward as his mother was coming down the hall. "Did you see Choir?" he asked her.

"No why?" the mom asked. Kendall didn't say anything but gave her a knowing look. The moms mouth fell.

"She wasn't," The mom gasped.

Kendall shook his head. "I was too late," Kendall's voice broke and his mother brought him into a hug.

"You need to know baby, there was nothing you can do. This isn't your fault." his mother tried to reassure him.

Kendall wept in his mothers arms. After a couple of minutes Kendall pulled away. "I have to go home," He said.

"James wants to see you, honey," the mom said.

Kendall exhaled sharply. "Tell him I'm sorry. I'll be back tomorrow. I can't be in this place anymore," He said.

Mrs. Knight nodded. "Okay, I'll take you home," she agreed.

When they finally arrived home, Kendall immediately rushed upstairs and into James room. He slammed the door behind him and locked it. He began to pace back and forth then finally stopping to enter the bath room. He tore his white shirt off that the hospital let him have and dropped it on the floor behind him.

He gripped the bathroom sink till his knuckles were burning white. His breathing got faster and heavier. He closed his eyes tightly then tried to close his mouth to stop from breathing the way he was. He could feel this overwhelming pain fill his chest, his eyes burned, and a cry that was trying to force it's way out his mouth. When he couldn't hold it anymore he yelled. "GOD!" and he punched the bathroom mirror. When it shattered and pieces rained over the sink he looked at his knuckles. Blood began to ooze from fresh cuts and drip down his hand. When he looked back up at the mirror he saw something that stood out. A prescription bottle. He opened the mirror and reached for the bottle. He didn't bother reading it and went write to opening it and dumping the containment's into his cupped hand. Over a dozen white pills piled in his hand. He stared at it...

Mrs. Knight was about to leave when she heard a thud from upstairs. She walked over to the bottom of the stairs. "Kendall?" she asked from the bottom of the stairs. When he didn't answer she called for him again. "Kendall? Are you all right?" No answer. She walked up the steps and headed over to James door. When she turned the knob she realized it was locked. She knocked. "Kendall sweetheart, open the door," She waited a few seconds but still no sign of Kendall. She wrestled the lock again trying to get it to open. "Kendall! You're scaring me open the door! KENDALL!"

Mrs. Knight looked at the key whole and when she saw it was one of the push locks she tore a bobby pin from her hair. She jammed it into the hole and when it clicked she opened the door. "Ken-" she was cut off when she saw her son on the ground.

"KENDALL!" She screamed.


	10. Jesus of Suburbia Part 1

_I don't feel any shame, I want to apologize. When there ain't nowhere you can go. Running away from pain when you've been victimized. Tales from another broken home._

_-"Jesus of Suburbia" Green Day_

Mrs. Knights tearful eyes fell on the empty open bottle of perscription pills that was a foot from Kendall's open hand. Her face went pale white."Kendall!" Mrs. Knight screamed with panic. She pressed her ear against her sons chest. He was still breathing. She hit his face trying to wake him up. "Baby! C'mon," she tapped his face three more times. When he remained unresponsive she pushed herself to her feet and ran to the phone on James nightstand. She fumbled it in her hands and began dialing 911.

"911. What is your emergency?"

"My son...he's not waking up!" she said fast.

"Mam, calm down-"

"Don't tell me to relax. My-my-my baby boy won't wake up!" When Mrs. Knight looked over at Kendall, he was lifting his head then turned on his side to sit himself up. The phone immediately dropped from her hands.

"Kendall!"

Kendall began to rub the back of his head. Mrs. Knight fell by his side and grabbed his face to hers. "Sweetheart? Are you okay? She asked searching his eyes. Kendall blinked a few times continuing to rub the back of his head. "Kendall?" The mom asked.

"Who's Kendall?" Kendall asked dumbfounded. Mrs. Knight mouth fell.

James, Carlos and Logan stood in front of Kendall who was seated on a hospital bed, legs hanging off the end.

"So, what happened?" Logan asked.

"They told me I slipped and hit my head on the marble floor pretty hard," Kendall stated.

The three boys exchanged a look then brought their eyes back to Kendall- staring. Kendall looked around the room feeling slightly uncomfortable. Kendall's eyes then fell on James and his brow furrowed. "What happened to you?" he asked.

"I got the shit kicked out of me. We all did. Well, besides Logan but that's cause he went running to try and get some help," James said in a cheerful tone. Logan and Carlos looked at him. "What?" James asked shrugging his shoulders. "This is cool," he said.

"How?" Logan asked.

"I never met anyone with amnesia. So you really don't remember a thing?" James directed to Kendall. Kendall shook his head. "Not even a certain blonde green eyed girl?" James questioned.

"Am I suppose to?" Kendall wondered. At that Choir walked in, folding her arms tightly across her chest.

"Speak of the devil," Logan said under his breath.

Her eyes dodged to each of the boys besides Kendall's. "Is he okay?" she asked softly.

"He can't remember anything," James responded.

Her eyes finally fell on Kendall's. "Are you my sister?" Kendall asked.

Logan's eyes bugged out "Gross..." Logan sang.

Carlos made a vomiting noise.

"After the two things you two have done-" James started to say but was cut off when Choir hit him in the arm.

"Shut up you three!" she sneered. Logan pretended to zip his lips up.

"No," Choir answered Kendall who had a confused expression on his face. He then squinted at her.

"You're important to me though. Something inside..." he trailed off thinking.

"Well duh," Logan said. James rolled his eyes.

"We're friends," Choir said.

"Friends?" James, Carlos, and Logan said stunned.

"Just friends?" Kendall asked.

Choir smiled softly. "Really good friends."

Kendall thought for a moment but then noticed the bruises on her arm. "You were beat up too?" he asked.

Choir rubbed her arms and nodded. Choir and Kendall just gazed at each other. Logan clapped his hands together bringing them into a fold. "We should probably go," He said. Carlos agreed.

"Why?" James asked stupidly. Logan gave him a knowing look. James rolled his eyes and Carlos rolled him out. Logan followed closely behind.

When the door finally closed it was silent for a moment. Choir looked down at her feet. When she looked back up her eyes had glossed over. She swallowed hard. "I know we're only friends but can I hug you?" she asked. Kendall shrugged his shoulders.

"I don't see why not," he said. Without a second to pass, Choir threw her arms around him taking Kendall by surprise. Slowly, however, he brought his hands to her back and wrapped them firmly around her, tightening the embrace.


	11. Jesus of Suburbia Part 2

So, Christmas was a bust. I didn't get a single damn thing I wanted! Neither did anyone else, that's for sure, but still! No Choir, no fun, beat, violated and confused! I never get what I want. I rolled my eyes annoyed by all the aggravating thoughts circling in my head. I sounded selfish and whiny. I know life is unfair but after all the bullshit nothing good happened.

I picked up my pillow and thew it across the room. Half the hockey trophies won back in Minnesota knocked off the dresser. Christmas day and here I sit at Palmwoods in my apartment bedroom. After the clattering of the trophies falling stopped, dead silence remained again. I listened carefully to see if anyone was outside the room. But like inside, the outside remained undisturbed by sound. Life was untraceable. I got up and into my wheelchair. God, I can't wait till I'm out of this damn thing.

Carlos was on the couch, asleep. A candy cane hung from the corner of his mouth, a Santa hat sideways off his head, dressed in only frosty the snowman pj pants. It was a long ride home and it took a good part of the night to brush Kendall up on some of the important things. As soon as we were all free from the hospital Mrs. Knight didn't wait a second to leave. Gustavo was called and informed of what went down. An hour later a helicopter came and we were all shipped back to Palmwoods. I didn't really care though. I wanted to go back. The bitter cold was all to haunting of that awful night. I just wanted to feel the sunshine. I wanted life to go back to being normal. I just wanted to for get. I can't think of it. I hit myself in the head to try and force the thoughts out. But the thought and disgusting feeling came back. I wanted to vomit. He touched me. I've never felt so violated in my life. It made me so fucking angry. My fist clenched tightly. I'm glad that son of a bitch is dead.

Logan came in when he was about to say something he spotted Carlos. A grin grew across his face. He took his cell phone out and took a picture of Carlos. I smirked. "This is going on our Christmas card," he said. He looked at me. "Gustavo wants to talk to us in in office."

Probably about yesterday...

Logan walked over to the stereo and turned it on. He put in of the CD setting and turned the volume dial all the way up. "I shall wake up Carlos if you don't mind," he said. I raised an eye brow.

"He's going to kill you," I warned him chuckling.

Logan sniggered to himself then pressed play. Suddenly, "Rocking Around The Christmas Tree." Blasted through the apartment. Carlos won't up startled. He immediately got to his feet and began to run left and right not sure of what way to go. Logan and James bursted out laughing.

"Ah! Too good!" Logan said.

When we finally got to Gustavo's office, Kendall, Kelly and Choir were already there. Choir looked pale as hell.

"Are you okay?" I asked her. She just smiled faintly.

The four of us lined up in front of Gustavo. He took in a deep breath. "I just want to thank you four and tell you I am glad that you are all okay," He took his hat off and rubbed the top of his head before placing it back on. He continued. "I know you did your best to protect my daughter. Um...I'm going to give you the month off to recuperate...heal. Hopefully Kendall is back to his old self. In the mean time try and get him back to speed with what's going on"

Kendall raised his hand. "Yes?"

"About that...I'm not sure I'm comfortable with being a backup belly dancer..." He said. Gustavo shoot looks at the other three who were laughing but were quick to fix themselves when Gustavo had looked at them.

"The plan is to remind him not screw with him," Gustavo said.

They nodded. Gustavo looked back at Kendall. "You're not a back up belly dancer. You're the lead singer of Big Time Rush. Look in one month and it's back to business. We'll have a lot to do so no foolishness or letting personal problems interfere. Understand?" The all nodded.

Choir then smacked a hand to her mouth. She ran out quickly.

"She isn't feeling well," Kelly said.

"Is she going to be okay?" I asked again.

"I'm taking her to the hospital to get her checked out. I'm sure it's just one of the side effects of the meds that she is on," Kelly said trying to wave the issue off and to assure us. I still didn't feel assured though.

When we filed out the office – me wheeling myself – Kendall spoke. "I have to go see my girlfriend down by the pool."

"Girlfriend?" I repeated.

"Yeah...Jo?" Kendall said. "Choir told me we just started going out. Jo's nice. Real pretty too."

The lies just keep going. Nothing I can do about it. If it's what Choir wants it that way then she'll have it that way. When we got to the lounge Kendall continued onto the pool area where Jo sat in one of the long chairs. "Why did Choir tell him he goes out with Jo?" Carlos asked.

"She probably needs time after everything. Probably felt this was the best way without breaking up with him and ultimately breaking his heart. Good intentions but when he starts to remember he won't be happy," Logan theorized. He was probably right.

Later that day I figured I go check to see if Choir was okay. I spotted Kelly at one of the vending machines kicking and shaking it for her bag of chips. The people here are crazy...

I went to her apartment and knocked on the door. "Come in," I heard her say and once I opened the door Choir screamed. She was shirtless wearing only a dark green bra. I was quick to close the door.

"Sorry!" I shouted.

"I said coming!" She yelled. It wasn't my fault if they sounded almost alike. When the door swung open she stood there wearing a yellow silk blouse.

"You're so asking for it, James Diamond."

"I'm really really sorry. I thought you said come in." I said honestly. Choir sighed deeply and walked back into her room. I followed and closed the door behind me. She began to pace back and forth. I eyed her curiously. "Are you okay?" I asked as she began to bite her nails.

She pushed her bangs out her face with the other hand. "Choir?" I asked.

She shook her head fast. "I'm pr...ant..." She said something barely audible.

"What?"

"I'm PREGNANT!" She shouted. My mouth dropped and I could feel my body tense up.

Jessie...oh my god. "Choir, I'm so sorry. Are you going to keep it?" I asked.

"Of course I am. Why wouldn't I?" She spat at me angrily.

"Choir...you were..."I paused then whispered. "raped."

She stopped dead in her tracks staring at me. "What!' she yelled. "I was what? Are you out your mind? I wasn't raped. Is that what every one thinks?"

"You were acting pretty crazy,"

"That's insensitive James. I was traumatized not raped."

"So if you weren't raped then who's..." Then it hit me. "Kendall..."I breath.

Choir went into deep thought.

"This is bad. Really, really bad."

"Don't you think I know that?" Choir snapped. "This could ruin Kendall's life and break up the band."

"Choir you can't tell anyone this. This is crazy. That would be wrong though. You have to at least tell everything to Kendall or your dad. You can't let them think you were raped. If Kendall is the dad he has the right to know.

Choir laughed shaking her head. "Oh yeah, tell my dad. He'll kill Kendall. Telling Kendall...oh no...everyone we'll end up knowing...no...I can't. It's for Kendall's own good." She then grabbed my arms. "I got it!" she said in a eureka voice.

"What?" I asked.

"Everyone thinks I was raped right?" She asked.

"Yes..." I said trying to see where she was going with this.

"And they're going to continue to think that. I'm pregnant with Jessie's baby not Kendall's. Kendall doesn't remember we had sex the night of the alleged rape"

"He'll eventually remember," I reminded her.

"I'll stick by that until he does and when he does remember I'll tell him a paternity test was taken. Kendall's life will not be ruined because of me,"

"You can't expect me to keep that kind of secret from Kendall. He's my best friend," I said.

"James, please?" she pleaded.

_Fuck me..._

**Well, I don't know if I'm going to continue anymore with the Houston stories. I had a forth and final one to do but I'm just not sure. You know? Hope you liked the last chapter though...**


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